[Cait422]

I don't know, I could be way off here- but I'm getting weird signals from her. I've been seeing her since August-ish, and she works at my hospital in their anxiety clinic, so she's like a resident doctor, kind of fresh out of med school. Anyway, she appears heterosexual, she wears a wedding band and from what I gather is married. She knows I am gay and I don't know, I just catch these discreet little subtleties. Like she smiles a LOT, even when shes not saying anything, she seems like she can't always muster words when talking, like that ackward cliff hanger when you feel embarrassed and don't know how to finish the sentence, and instead just complete it with an ackward laugh LOL! And she blushes a lot, it feels very... elementary? lol like little school girl kind of stuff. I think its funny really, but I'm rather intrigued, admittedly. I really want to confront her about it, and just ask her flat out if she is attracted to me, I feel like we just need to get it out of the way because there is this ackward tension with her, I can't explain it. She wasn't this way before and I am just noticing it in the last few weeks. I just don't want to like, be inappropriate because this is cognitive behavorial therapy, and she works under the hospital's clinic so shes not like a private physician. She is very professional, but I don't know.

I am not atrracted to her... I think I am definitely attracted to the idea, that a doctor could be attracted to me, of course that is always very flattering. But I know outside of this I wouldn't. She is attractive physically, she just seems way too uptight, and not at all someone my type. There is definitely some type of transference going on here, I just can't determine why yet, or how..... The thing is, I think there may be some on her part too
Thoughts?

[chester1066]

Personally I would request another therapist.. I know that you are flattered and she may well be transferring some feeling onto you, but her job is all about boundaries and if she is unable to display these, then she is not doing he job well. I know we don't choose who we fall for and its difficult if you feel for someone, but you just can't, not in this situation.

[Anika.]

I honestly think the things you are picking up on could stem from anything, from something going on in her own life perhaps? Only she would know. I behave a lot like that some of the time, but not out of sexual attraction for the other person.

It could be your attraction to the idea, and you also said you are intrigued, could that be why you are interpreting her subtle behaviour that way?

I don't think she crossed any boundaries at all, smiling lots and mustering for words doesn't cross any boundary I can think of. I am confused by the post above.

I have no idea what your therapist thinks or feels obviously. I just wonder if the transference might be coming from you. Or she may have picked up on your being intrigued or attraction to the idea.. like subleties coming from you, creating a tad of awkwardness.

Just an idea, I think sometimes it's more about what we feel than what the other person actually does.

On the asking her or not.. I don't know. I would ask in the psychotherapy forum here if you didn't already. I think a lot of people in therapy have come across these issues and the what to do about it. They would probably have better advise, I am sure some people here have asked their therapist this type of question.

[Leed]

Do you think maybe she might be a little embarrassed about her "newness" in the profession and she might feel a bit unable to professionally handle your problem? Perhaps she is embarrassed that you know more about "things" than SHE does because she hasn't been practicing long enough.

She's just uncomfortable practicing right now cause she's still so new??? Just a thought.