[FreedomButterfly90]

they yelled at me and im crying

[eskielover]

It would have been better if your parents could have talked through the problem rather than yelling....yelling never solves anything.....but when parents talk through things that are a problem, it's easier to learn from & to feel better .

Sorry that your parents reacted that way......some parents aren't good at dealing with problems that come up......hope you can get through this & understand that sadly, it's your parents inappropriate way of handling problems......but I hope that what ever the problem is that caused your friend to "tell everything" can be handled appropriately in spite of your parents yelling at you.

[Leed]

Why did your "best friend" tell your parents everything? Was she afraid that you were going to harm yourself? Was she afraid for your life? If that's the case, then she was probably right. But if that has nothing to do with it, then that's just plain mean.

If you DO have suicidal plans or tendencies, then I'm glad she did. NO ONE wants you to kill yourself, or even THINK about it. But your parents should not have yelled & screamed at you. There are other ways to handle it, but I know they were probably scared to death and SHOCKED by what they heard and THAT'S why the yelled at you. They didn't yell because they were MAD. They yelled because they were in shock and they LOVE you. They obviously had no clue you felt this way honey.

So give them a breakk and don't be mad at them. Okay? Try to make things better between you today. They didn't mean to make you cry -- they just didn't know you felt like that and THEY ARE HURT. They thought they made a good home for you probably. I really don't know. But try to make things better. God bless and please take care sweetie. And please DON'T think about any dark plans. Hugs, Lee

[Bipolar mom]

I had this happen to me in high school, more than once too, my mom reacted in a similar way, but then would calm down. Poor woman I put her through a lot, still do. Sometimes parents just don't understand how to react when they find out information like that. They feel guilty, or like it is somehow their fault and they react poorly. Give you parents some time to process the information given, then sit down and have a calm but truthful conversation.

As for your friend, I have always chosen to forgive and forget in those situations. Had my friends not gone to my parents or teachers I would not be here right now. Yur friend only did this because they care about you. Have an honest convorsation with them, you can tell them how you are hurt by what they did, but try not to hold a grudge on it!

[FreedomButterfly90]

Originally Posted by Bipolar mom

I had this happen to me in high school, more than once too, my mom reacted in a similar way, but then would calm down. Poor woman I put her through a lot, still do. Sometimes parents just don't understand how to react when they find out information like that. They feel guilty, or like it is somehow their fault and they react poorly. Give you parents some time to process the information given, then sit down and have a calm but truthful conversation.

As for your friend, I have always chosen to forgive and forget in those situations. Had my friends not gone to my parents or teachers I would not be here right now. Yur friend only did this because they care about you. Have an honest convorsation with them, you can tell them how you are hurt by what they did, but try not to hold a grudge on it!

i made up with my friend and we r still friends and i agree bout parent thing

[onionknight]

They shouldn't have screamed. They need to be loving and supportive, a source of safety and comfort--not fear or shame. If they're good parents, they should be a part of your recovery. If not, I'm sorry, and I hope there are other adults in your life who can support you.

I had a friend tell my mother I had cut, after it stopped, though. I shudder to think how things would have turned out if the people I talked about my struggles with as a teenager had told my parents. We, my friends and I, were all in similar boats, so it was more solidarity than anything. We all kind of had the opinion we could help each other more than anyone else could help us. I of course eventually sought outside help, on my own terms though.

Your friend cares about you, and hopefully, your parents do too. It can be shocking and painful for all involved though. The pain shouldn't be something you face alone.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Leed

Why did your "best friend" tell your parents everything? Was she afraid that you were going to harm yourself? Was she afraid for your life? If that's the case, then she was probably right. But if that has nothing to do with it, then that's just plain mean.

I cant speak for the original poster but here in NY teen agers are being taught in schools that regardless of the issue and who the issue is about, family, friends or their self they can "talk it over" with someone they trust like a teacher, parents, the friends parents. other friends.... its just another way for teens to handle any situation be it dating, abuse, grades, suicide or just friendship issues.. any issue on earth...

many schools even have peer counselors /teacher /parent teams that are over seen by the faculty but is run by the peers so that regardless of the issue for a friend or for their self they have some one else to help them with things.