[MusicalRaven]

Hi Everyone.

I am moving out of my parents house and I need some advice on how to tell my parents, mostly my mom.

I am 27, have a masters degree, a full time job, teach music lessons and just recently have been diagnosed with depression. I know that moving out of my parents house, where I moved in as a "transition" to my own place after graduate school, will help me to get better and feel good about myself. I'm just afraid to tell my mom.

I tried to gently guide our last conversation in that direction by telling her that I was looking into getting an apartment with one of my friends. I told her that I could do it financially and since dad has a new job (was underemployed for about 9 months) it should be easier on them financially as well. She said "We'll see." Like she had to give me permission!

I don't know how to talk to her without feeling guilty about leaving them. I know that I help them out with groceries and utilities but I need my own place. I need to be my own person. I feel so cramped here, so stifled. I just want to be in my own space with my cats and my friends.

Help!!

P.S. If anyone has any ideas on how to approach a T about getting a note for service cats or companion animals I would be appreciative to that as well.

Thanks everyone. I am so thankful for the PC forum.

Hi Raven!

You are a testament to what mothers hope of their children. I mean…to have helped them out so willingly is awesome! I have been through such a crisis with my children and it’s difficult to let go when it is clearly time for them to spread their wings. I really do understand you and how your mom feels about this idea. Make it your plan to move on as you desire to by your very own terms. Naturally your mom, or dad, will need to find new ways to adjust, which will happen in time. And the words to explain this decision will never come easily, nor will it be easier to prepare them for this transition. But you need to do as best by you, and do whatever keeps you comfortable and happy with your progress; this is very important behavior for your healthy emotional needs. I hope the best for you as you plan your move. Take your time but do plan the move by making this happen directly on your terms. I have no doubt that you are gentle in nature and that you will be a comfort to your parents no matter where you live. And it may be helpful to just record a message to them or write out your thoughts and deliver to them while in a relaxed way; such as having dinner out after a family movie, or delivering a note by special arrangements, such as a greeting card or flowers attached. Think creatively for that loving and personal touch you have.

As to the approach with therapy animals, just speak out about it. Because this is for a very beneficial purpose and you have good reasons for the aid, speak out with ease; your practitioner will understand and be happy that you did ask for this service (it kind of takes the pressure off the T as you are the first to approach with the idea).

Please keep me in mind when you need encouragement!

Tabby

[whoswho]

I suppose it depends on your parents. My mom really gave me hell when I decided to move out. I won't go into details because I don't want to scare you (!) but you just have to remember that your parents can take care of themselves. You can never force someone to understand something, you know? You're more than old enough and ready to do it. Just be direct but also kind. It's hard on the parents when their kid moves out (most of the time) but it's YOUR LIFE. YOU are the one living it, not them! Don't let your mom scare or guilt-trip you out of your plans. My mom tried that with me and it was so hard at the time and I felt so incredibly guilty and horrible, but now I look back on it and I'm so glad I moved out. Only YOU know what's best for you.

[MusicalRaven]

Thanks everyone.

I ended up talking to her and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Although now she won't shut up about it.

Originally Posted by MusicalRaven

Thanks everyone.

I ended up talking to her and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Although now she won't shut up about it.

Ha-ha, Raven! Now she talks overtime, huh? Well, she is excited about seeing you get better. It does my heart good, too, to know that you are open with your T. This has to feel great for you. Thanks for sharing this news! And you are so welcome to the support!