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dpadilla89
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Location: New Jersey, USA
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Default Jun 20, 2006 at 11:44 AM
  #1
well, i know i am only 16 years old, but i believe about living in the moment. I go to a theraputic High School in New Jersey and there are not alot of kids in my school. I have just dsicovered or still am, the fact of being bi/gay. There is this one girl in my school who i am good friends with...i'm going to call her, "A". Anyways, "A" is also bi, and im starting tso like her more and more each day. I really want to tell her that i like her, esp. since supp. my friends say we would look cute together and im good for her, etc. Although, she has a boyfriend for about 8 or 9 months now. NO ONE likes him, hes manipulative, sometimes abusive and hurtful to her. it hurts me to see that shes suffering sometimes, but then when they end up breaking up..she always complains how much of a d*** he is, etc. and she'll never take him back, and i say to her she shouldnt be treated like that at all, no one should. Although, in the end..she winds up taking him back, esp. when she gets high. About a week ago, they broke up again..lol...and it was the last three days of school. the first day me and her only went around the hallway putting stickers on all of the teachers and therapists, and on some students. it was alotta fun, and we both enjoyed it alot. i even think we were flirting in a way too, idkk. she then got upset because her boyfriend was being a dck and we both have the same indvid. therapist so she wanted me to come to therapy with her and talk to our therapist because she knew i knew what was going on alot and i was helping her and there for her the enitre day. the next day..we have our school picnic at the park down the block, JUST me and her the entire day, with all the teachers and therapists staring at us. prob. wondering//where her boyfriend was in the first place. but all we did all day was lay down together by the trees, listen to music and we both were laying upside down on the picnic table, we were both talking, and it seemed like we were kindaaaa flirting in a way. idkk.

the last day of school, we were hanging out together still and she was having her birthday party and end of the year party after school. i had a feeling her bf would show up, because everyone knows him and how he acts every time. so i show up at her house shes so excited to see me, then i see her bf. i figured they got back together, which they did. although, we were allllllll high like you wouldnt believe, so i figured her bf would think "ok--its my turn to chime in and get her back once again." its all a game to him unfort. later in the night, when he started being mean alittle bit to her, she asked me to lay down in the grass next to her and we looked at the clouds together. then her boyfriend chimed in and starting laying down and kissing her. heh. idk. anyways..

my advice i desp. need is that what should i do?? should i tell her how i feel or not?? i never in my life felt any way about somebody, i actually care for her alot and like her on top of it. i never felt that way about a guy before or a girl. heh. i dont want to ruin a friendship, but shes that kinda person who will always stay friends with you as to what i hear from her friends and mine. :] seriously though, i dont want to just blab it out to her while shes still with her stupid boyfriend!! do you guys think i should tell her about her boyfriend and what hes like? at the party he was being a real jerk also, which i dont feel like writing right now. lol.

im the type of person to get paranoid and anxious too, not regarding to telling her. but if i get rejected in any way, or whatever...shes prob. going to say something to our indiv. therapist, heh. and i dont want her or any of them to think i was just nice to her because i really liked her, which is not true because i truly feel bad and care for her alotttt.

part of me wants to tell her but part of me doesnt want too because of her bf. but---do you guys think i should tell her about her boyfriend and what hes like when hes not around her??? lol..i mean, she shouldnt be subjected to that anyways, right??

i would appreachiate if anyone could give me any advice. thanksss. :]

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Default Jun 20, 2006 at 12:49 PM
  #2
That's a tricky one. If my best friend's boyfriend cheated on her for example, I think I would tell her. But from what you are saying, she seems to know the kind of guy she is with. In short, despite the complaining to you/therapist, admitting he is a jerk, the break-ups she *still* does not seem ready to ditch him for good. In this sense, the best thing might be simply to be there for her, as a friend. Until she makes up her mind as to what she wants.
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dpadilla89
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Location: New Jersey, USA
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Default Jun 20, 2006 at 12:55 PM
  #3
thanks. lol.

ive been doing that for the last several weeks, she knew he cheated on her several times...but she doesnt want to let him go at all. i talked to my shrink about it and he said it sounds like shes sooo depressed that she just wants him to be loved, which kinda stinks. everyones there for her with/for him...but no ones really saying the whole truth.

idk

thanks! :]

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Default Jun 22, 2006 at 02:04 AM
  #4
Well, I agree that it doesn't sound as though she's ready to let him go just yet. I say go for it in terms of telling her, but be prepared for her not to act on the information, or perhaps even forgive him. I agree with everything that "Always" said. I do wish you luck -- it's hard falling for someone who is taken with the wrong person.

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