Lately, I have been feeling a lot of anger towards my dad. I have a gut feeling that he is cheating on my mom. My mom has hinted to me about the fact that my dad may be cheating on her. Everytime my dad comes home, he never says hi to my mom. Whenever my mom is out in the living room, my dad is in the bedroom or vise versa. He is usually in a seperate room from my mom until it is time to sleep. My dad goes out "fishing" almost all day on weekends, even when it is pouring rain outside or snowing hard. My dad always eats dinner with us, and then he never helps clean up the dinner table. My dad has turned into an asshole. He treats my mom like garbage. We have horses and my dad emailed my mom a few days early saying that he would help her stack some hay. When I asked my dad if he would help us (the night before stacking hay), my dad said NO, in a really rude tone of voice. He lied to my mom in the email. He went out "fishing" again. Everytime I see my dad, I am filled with so much anger and hatred toward him. He wonders why. Today, he looked at my can of chips on the counter and he said "pizza pringle chips?" in a critisizing kind of way. Then I snapped and said "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF THEM." Then he snapped at me and said "STOP! EVERYTIME i TALK TO YOU, YOU ARE SO RUDE!" Then I gave him a nasty look. I am so angry at my dad that even when we are eating dinner together, it makes me extremely angry when he takes a bite of food at the same time as me. I don't know what to do. It is none of my business to confront him and ask him if he is cheating. I am so angry at the way he is treating my mom and I, especially my mom. I want to punch my dad so ****ing bad right now. I want him out of my life if he is going to treat my mom like this. No wonder I don't trust people. Most of them are such assholes and jerks.

[Leed]

Calm down. First of all, this is between your Mom and your Dad. I know you feel protective of your Mom, but if he's treating her badly, don't you think SHE should say something about it to him? She's the one being treated so badly. Or is she too meek and mild to speak up? Is she afraid of him? If she is, WHY is she? Has he ever hit her? Do you think he ever would?

Again, their marital problems are between them. Your Mom doesn't HAVE to put up with it, but she does. Is this the first time he's ever acted like this? If it is,, I"m sure your Mom figures that this will just blow over, and the affair will end. Many times they do -- she probably figures he will stop the nonsense and things will go back to normal. I'm sure that's what she wants.

In the meantime, don't complicate things for her by snapping at your Dad and making him even more angry. That will just upset your Mother. I know you're angry, but you don't even know what the truth IS. Just be respectful -- if you don't want to talk to him, just keep it short, but RESPECTFUL. That way you're not upsetting your Mom, and it's helping to keep peace in the family.

I wish you the very best. I hope things work out for everyone. God bless and please take care -- and try to stay calm, as hard as that may be. Hugs, Lee

[hamster-bamster]

I feel for you very much.