[wounded1]

What do I do? Do I stay with a man who I'm not sure I will ever trust or split up a family? My husband is now saying he is looking for a therapist to work out his issues. He went to look at a house today (although he didn't like it) and it made me very sad. He's had the last three days off, we had my son's birthday, watched a movie as a family and everything fell right back into being "familiar". I keep asking myself what it would take to make this work, and I don't know. He's hurt me so badly, has broken my trust. Do I give him ONE MORE CHANCE? He is willing to do whatever I say - stay or leave.

wounded, I'm not sure if you posted the rest of your story elsewhere, but it seems there's little to go on here. Can you say more about what's going on than that he hurt you so badly? What did he do?

[wounded1]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

wounded, I'm not sure if you posted the rest of your story elsewhere, but it seems there's little to go on here. Can you say more about what's going on than that he hurt you so badly? What did he do?

Oh, sorry! I have posted both "Leaving a passive-aggressive man" and "How long do you take the high road?"

In essence, I have been married to a passive-aggressive man who has broken my trust more than once. He has admitted to having repressed anger issues and now admits he's been "punishing me" for everything over the last ten years. He has difficulty communicating and can be selfish and self centered. But he is a great dad, loves our kids and says he loves me. I am hurt, angry and full of resentment.

[Cmiller2012]

Has he been diagnosed with anything? Like depression? Do you guys talk about your problems on a normal basis? It's very healthy to pick a time and a place once a day, or a few times a week to just sit and talk about everything that is bothering you. If he loves you he will understand how you feel, and try to fix it. Communication, love, caring, and trust are what builds a relationship, and helps it to stay strong. If you feel hurt, angry, and resent for what he has done to you, you need to let him know that, and make sure he knows that you are willing to work that out with him.

You can't force your partner to communicate with you for obvious reasons, but you can make sure he knows that you are there for him through anything that might go on in your lives together. You just have to trust that he feels the same way, and if he does he will eventually talk to you.

[Leed]

Dearheart, what about the cyber affairs he's had? Is he still posting profiles online? Do you trust that he won't do that anymore? How do you know he won't? There are probably thousands of sites that he could post on. How in the world can you keep track of all of them?

Is he going to communicate more? Does he agree to counseling or aren't you going to bother with that? I sure think it's necessary if you two are going to stay together. You need to learn HOW to communicate. Plus I think you need to know how to "fight" so that these issues aren't thrown into each others' faces when you argue.

YOU could use individual counseling too to help cope with your anger and resentment. That's not going to be easy to deal with on your own. You don't want to let THAT get into the way of you two getting "back together." If you're still angry and resentful, it's going to really hamper your way of making progress in your marriage. So counseling would help YOU a great deal to get RID of the anger and resentment. Think about it, will you?

I wish you both the best of luck. I hope this works out. Please keep us posted, will you? God bless & please take are. Hugs, Lee