[di meliora]

A classic Buddhist proverb states: “Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Forgiveness is one of the most important lessons life has to offer, but it is also one of the more difficult sentiments to learn and practice

Anger that often became rage has been an overarching attribute of my life. When told I might benefit from forgiving, my self-righteousness immediately viewed the thought as folly. Nonetheless, I knew I had to do something to overcome the constant scowling and exploding vehemence.

One day, I decided to try to forgive -- both those I have hurt and myself. Eventually, I asked for forgiveness from everyone I could think of. Forgiving myself has been harder. To forgive me meant having to deal with the shame of inadequacy. I have lived a life of guilt, disconnection and isolation. Yet, I can say the ongoing process of forgiveness has made a major impact in reducing the anger and allowing me to like myself better. It has become a prominent feature of my spirituality.

There are benefits to forgiving:

According to Sonja Lyubomirsky’s The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want, empirical research confirms the proverb’s message. “Forgiving people are less likely to be hateful, depressed, hostile, anxious, angry, and neurotic,” Lyubomirsky says.

“They are more likely to be happier, healthier, more agreeable, and more serene. They are better able to empathize with others and to be spiritual or religious. People who forgive hurts in relationships are more capable of reestablishing closeness. Finally, the inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination or dwelling on revenge, while forgiving allows a person to move on.”

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...f-forgiveness/

Perhaps others here might benefit from forgiving?

[justme1623]

to forgive is possible only if its not asked over and over .

[RocketGurl]

Yes I can forgive the new friend who didnt think to include me when she knew I was alone and lonely. I just have to ask myself if it is worth it to try and build something if she has nothing really to give, & doesnt want to give emotionally.

an unbalanced friendship is difficult, you cant force it but it cheats the perso,n who needs more, to accept it.

[JustLikeHeaven]

This isn't really a 'question', is it?

[LadyShadow]

I can benefit from forgiving, But forgiving myself is the hardest thing I could possibly do. I will start from there. Thanks for this!

[Karlam1991]

So true.