[yeliab12]

I have major trust issues. I have a boy friend of a year and a half.
He knows I have trust issues. I just don't even know what to do anymore. It's gotten so bad, I just don't want to put him through this anymore...

I need support. I haven't seen him in a week, but I am tonight.

Oi... there is just so much wrong :/

I need help.

Thanks

[Leed]

Can you tell us more? What exactly is wrong? You say you have trust issues. Do you think he's cheating? Do you have proof that he's cheating? Is it because you haven't seen him in a week? Have you HEARD from him this past week? What has he been doing -- why haven't you seen him this week?

Give us a little more info ok sweetie?

[tattoogirl33]

you're in my thoughts... (((HUGS)))

[yeliab12]

Originally Posted by Leed

Can you tell us more? What exactly is wrong? You say you have trust issues. Do you think he's cheating? Do you have proof that he's cheating? Is it because you haven't seen him in a week? Have you HEARD from him this past week? What has he been doing -- why haven't you seen him this week?

Give us a little more info ok sweetie?

I have PTSD from my past relationship. Sexual abuse. Emotional abuse. Unfaithful as well. That's the background of why I have trust issues.

Right now I'm struggling to make it through. Today I hit so many triggers and my boyfriend wasn't even around. I know I'm over-analyzing, but I just just don't want to be betrayed and left in the dark.

I've been in this relationship for 1 1/2 years and just recently it hit me that I have A LOT of trust issues. I mean, I obsess, constantly think about it. I have bad dreams. This is just abnormal. Right now I'm having one of my "episodes".

My friend who lives in the apartment below my boyfriend told me today that I needed to thank him for dinner last night. He went down to give her some old food was throwing out. You know what that is translated in my mind...

And she always has people over and they're up to no good, doing drugs and drinking. I just hope he didn't do that or even be around it.

I asked him last night what he did and he didn't mention anything about going to her apartment to give her food. She told me today.

I think he was just trying to protect me from another episode. I hope.

Anyway, I know I shouldn't worry. I know it's my mind acting up because they are like brother and sister. She's also into someone else too.

I just get so bad at times that I want to just end the relationship so I don't have to face it and it's too hard. haha

He really is a good guy. He has never cheated on anyone before. I'm just really struggling and I need help trying to overcome my PTSD.

I just want to give up on the relationship, but that would be running away from the problem

He said he was working and hanging out with his dad. I believe him I guess because that's all he does. We try not to hang out during the week because I need to focus on getting better. I feel so alone while dealing with this. I know he's there and he supports me, but I want more comfort than dry feedback.
I'm also distancing myself to get him to "want" me because I feel like I'm giving 100% and he's not. I always talk to him first during the week, except for the other day. I made the plans for today though, even though I shouldn't have because I always do lol. I don't feel that spark that we had before I started dealing with my PTSD. I'm just hoping when I cope with this, we'll be back to how we were... if not better.

It's just really rough right now...

[Vicci25]

I have serious trust issues with my bf that i have been dating for over 2 and 1/2 years also. Whenever he leaves the room i go through his phone and check his texts (sad i know). He hates it whenever he see's me doing that which makes me want to do it more b/c it makes me feel like he is actually hiding something. I never actually find anything ANYMORE. about a year into our relationship i did find messages to this girl where they were talking about sex and going on a dates. He said they were just joking around, I wasnt sure what to believe. We had a nice little talk about it. I told him i dont want you talking to her again if you want to still be my gf and he agree"d. The two no longer talk and everything seems to be okay, but he is kind of is still up to this day earning my trust.

So my advice to you with your situation is ...

Be brave and go have a sit down discussion with him. You have been dateing him long enough to be hopefully be open and honest with him. Let him know how you are feeling about everything then see how he responds.

[RomanSunburn]

Are you in any sort of therapy to help you deal with your PTSD? Would it be helpful for your boyfriend to attend a session with you? Maybe he doesn't know how to be supportive in the way that you need him to be. Is there any way you can put it into words specifically what you want and need? In regards to him not contacting you, he might be trying to give you space to heal, just like you two only see each other once a week. He might be leaving the ball entirely in your court, letting you call the shots, because you're the one healing, and he doesn't want to be in the way. I can't say for sure, but I'd definitely recommend talking with him and telling him everything that's going on, and what you need from this relationship. And about the food he brought down? He might have saw it as so insignificant that he completely forgot about it all together, and wasn't even purposely hiding it from you. You'll never know unless you ask.

What do you do during the week? Do you stay active? Do you have work, school, and hobbies to help keep you distracted? I think having a hobby and doing something physical would help with a lot of things... I think it would help your self esteem and self worth, which I think would help deal with the trauma of your past relationships. It might also help you not miss him so much during the week, and give you something positive to talk about when you do get to talk to him.

I'm sorry you're hurting so bad. I hope you can get some help for this.

[yeliab12]

I'm talking to someone frequently and it's helping me get this out of me, but I'm just more or less talking and not getting any feedback which bothers me. I want to have my boyfriend join sometime. He seems like he's getting depressed and he's denying it. I have never seen him like this ever, so it's really throwing me off. He isn' the type of person to be depressed. But as for a relationship, I just want him to want me back. I don't want to put all the effort in. I need him to support me throughout this recovery process just how I am supporting him right now. I talked to him about the first part, but not the second part because I know he's stuck in a rut right now. I think that is why I feel like he doesn't want me. Because he is just depressed. Oi.

Now I don't know how to go about helping him with his issues.

I go to school, I work at a local K9 training for working canine. I try to see my friends during the week. I really don't have any hobbies other than selling rescued jewelry. I'm also a gamer. I used to work out all of the time and make art, but now I don't do that and that's something I want to get back into.

Thank you all for your advice. I really appreciate it.

Bailey

I don't see any real evidence that he's doing anything deserving of your suspicions and paranoia. It is understandable based on your past but you gotta focus on what you have and what he DOES DO. What ifs are killers in these situations. You can "what if" your way right into a break up if you're not careful.

I would not leave the relationship because it doesn't sound like you only have your issues that are causing this fear. I can't say for sure but based on what you've said it sounds like it's internally based.

If he's being a good guy and faithful and still with you in spite of your issues, please, do get some therapy if you aren't already, get better and get yourself stable for him. it will be worth it in the long run and I'm sure he'll be even more in love with you when you do.

good luck! You can get better.
*hugs*
~s4