[Aleakim]

Well I've been dating this guy for about a month now, and he doesn't know that I cut, and... should I tell him? He also has depression and I just
I don't know what to do I don't want to be a bother and I don't want him to worry about me ... What would you guys do if you were in my shoes?

[shlump]

I don't know much about cutting, but on the relationship front...if he seems like the one or a potential one I'd advise telling him. He will find out at some point. If you talk to him about it before that and allow him to ask questions, really tell him what it is about you won't feel you have to hide it from him.

You'll also know if he is willing to walk beside you through the worst.

There are those that will. There are people that accept and love an entire person, not just the pretty on the surface.

I wish you the best.

[hamster-bamster]

You can tell him - if he has depression, then, quite likely, he is educated about all sorts of mental illness symptoms. I have never cut, but I do know about cutting since, being bipolar, I have been in the know about a spectrum of things mental illness-related even if I personally do not suffer from them. And he is probably, too.

[Bipolar mom]

I agree with hamster-bamster.

I didn't tell my husband for a few weeks, until I knew we were going to get physical enough for him to see my arms and legs. Right before we got to tht point I explained about my scars and recent cuts at the time, and educated him a bit on SI since he never knew anyone who did. I didn't want him to get caught off gaurd.

[mslawgirl]

Cutting is such a personal matter, is this something you feel that you should share with him? If this is a relationship based on friendship and trust then maybe sharing this with him would be beneficial for you. Since he is battling depression himself he may be a very understanding confidant.

Thinking you are a "bother" to him doesn't sound like a safe emotional environment for you to share something to deep though, so make sure that you're doing it for the right reasons - and be prepared to answer questions and share more of yourself with this person.

If he's worth it in your eyes, by all means open up emotionally - it's a good thing to do when you're feeling conflicted like this. If you feel more doubt however, maybe just hold off until you feel more comfortable sharing.

[hamster-bamster]

But how would you not share if it is visible? Eventually visible?

I do not cut, but in the past I took a drug, called Depakote, that gave me horrible hand tremors (I stopped several months ago). Well, my lunch partners, say, gave me looks. People notice such things.