[doggiedo]

So I've been on this online dating website for a few months now and I'm just plain, old, frustrated. I met up with a guy I liked, and he didn't like me back. Then I met up with a guy who liked me, but I didn't feel anything for him. Now there is a third guy, but he's kinda shifty. It is really obvious he likes me and yet it took him a week to ask me out again. I asked him out and planned the first date to a museum in the city..so I told him if he wants to plan something else, I'd be game. And then he waits until sat night at 8 to text me and ask if I wanted to meet up for lunch. I'm trying to not make a big deal, but we've been talking all week. I didn't get any word he wanted to go out again, so I made plans all weekend...I'm busy darn it! He needs to plan it sooner!

So now I go back online to look at my matches online and there isn't anyone who interests me. Is like boring and no one really looks appealing to me. I almost feel like I'm shopping and it makes me feel cheap.

But I'm afraid I'm never going to find anyone to complete me. I really like my alone time, but it's time to settle down and put down roots. I want to be in love, to share my life with someone, to start a family, etc. I'm afraid as I get older I'm just going to be used to being alone.

I want someone to cuddle with and be emotionally intimate with... I miss that too I'm not sure ill ever find anyone... Do I stick with the online thing or just move on and give up?

[hamster-bamster]

Do not give up. I understand the boredom. Awesome job NOT giving up your weekendd plans on a short notice. The guy needs to learn better calendaring skills.

[shezbut]

(((doggiedo)))

Did you mention to this last guy that you would like to see him again, but that you require more time for planning dates? Or did you just give up on him?

I haven't ever used a dating site, so I don't know what they're like. I can only imagine. I would assume that they're pretty tough to get to know people through, unless you talk often about a wide variety of subjects. I also hope that the information given is accurate! I can't recall the name of the site, but I did see a few commercials for one that has open date nights. Places where compatible (?) groups meet weekly to try to make connections. That sounded like a pretty good option to me.

Try to buck up ~ you aren't doomed to spend your life alone. You will find someone special. It just takes time. Sometimes, more time than we're willing to spend...but it will happen. Don't forget to still spend some time pampering yourself (rather than continuously focusing on not wanting to be alone).

Take care!

[Nobodyandnothing]

I agree with Shez. Do not completely give up on the guy but let him know you won't drop everything at the last minute. A guy did that to me once. Invited me out on New Year's Eve at 2:30 in the afternoon that day. I did give him another chance and we have been married now for 25 years.

Don't give up. You will meet the right perdon. Maybe not perfect, but right for you.

[Anika.]

I agree don't give up.

I used an online dating site for oh a few years before I met the right one. I went on a lot of dates that didn't work out, some good, some horrible and some just weird.. But the dating was something I needed to do to help me solidly sort myself out. I had been in one bad marriage to my only bf, so I did not have much experience at all. I also found learning how to say no, or to ask for what I wanted very good skills to learn that I was lacking. Also building and working on my self esteem.

I met my bf online tho, even tho he only lives 2 doors down from my sister. Kinda funny but maybe we were meant to meet somehow and bumping into each other in person wasn't happening. But we have been together 6 years and have a pretty strong healthy relationship.

Don't give up, frustrating yes.. But you can meet someone. There really is no reason why not if you remain open to it. Maybe he was too nervous to ask so he waited, who knows. But maybe talk to him and give him one more chance.

Good thoughts from Anika there. And good for you honoring your boundaries! Hugely important! Making plans in and of itself is good -- faaar better than just "waiting by the phone" as they say. (Because what would that accomplish, except to "train" someone to disrespectful habits? Certainly not a good way to start off a good relationship -- romantic or not!).
What better way to cultivate respect from him than to show it for yourself?!

One thing though?

Originally Posted by doggiedo

...But I'm afraid I'm never going to find anyone to complete me...

No one can complete you (or anyone else). Because YOU ARE already COMPLETE! You really are. Please remember that, ok?

[doggiedo]

Thanks guys. I actually heard from him a few times yesterday and he asked what I was doing tonight, since he didn't have to work tonight. He makes me nervous bc he seems to like me. Idk.

I'm still sticking with the online dating. It's just hard not to see it like a meat market, you know? You just flip through these pictures and profiles and its like a meat market. It's just weird is all.

I saw my parents yesterday and my mom asked if I was dating. Like there is something wrong me if I'm not. I know that's not true. Maybe to her that is what I means, but not me. I am happy by myself. I saw someone post something on fbook today and it said that you can't be happy with someone unless you're happy with yourself first. So true!

It IS a meat market. At least I think so. But so was the Friday night at the nightclub - everyone eyeing and weighing each other up. For me, the only difference is the advancement of technology!

Glad you're going to stick with it. There will be some genuine ones out there, just got to work your way through to get to them! I've a few friends who've had success, but not before meeting a lot of ducks. Be safe, and enjoy!

Originally Posted by riotgrrrl

It IS a meat market. At least I think so. But so was the Friday night at the nightclub - everyone eyeing and weighing each other up. For me, the only difference is the advancement of technology!

Glad you're going to stick with it. There will be some genuine ones out there, just got to work your way through to get to them! I've a few friends who've had success, but not before meeting a lot of ducks. Be safe, and enjoy!

I agree it probably is like a meat market. I haven't gotten involved in it enough to say from experience for sure but I liken it in my mind to a virtual bar or night club... same results, lots of lame ones, only a few good ones to find.

I leave ever finding anyone (not looking hard anyway) to chance. Going places to meet women is trying too hard, for me. But if I'm happily going along my life alone, and happen to be someplace where ms right is, it'll more likely work out. Besides, I'm all for meeting people in their natural environment, just doing their own thing -- that's the real person. not the profile on a site that is likely half fake and embellished, similar to the "face" people put on in a night club to look good -- best dressed and putting their act on.

As for the guy, I'd just communicate with him that if he wants to date you more, he needs to communicate with you. Setting up your "rules" early on is very important because it's harder to change the rules after you've been going a while down a certain road.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by doggiedo

He makes me nervous bc he seems to like me. Idk.

That is understandable, but you need to have courage to deal with his being attracted to you.

[doggiedo]

Yea. I almost wanted to text him and tell him I'm not as cute as he thinks I am! Or when he gets closer he'll realize I'm not all that! I know guys don't want to be with a woman with no confidence, and it's Unatrractive to say stuff like hat, but that's how I feel. Idk when I'll see him again- but it doesn't bother me at all. I wish I cared more whether or not I saw him. Lol is that bad?

I think we need to have our first kiss and see of there is a spark before I can tell if I'm attracted to him. Sometimes it takes that physical contact, you know?

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by doggiedo

Yea. I almost wanted to text him and tell him I'm not as cute as he thinks I am! Or when he gets closer he'll realize I'm not all that! I know guys don't want to be with a woman with no confidence, and it's Unatrractive to say stuff like hat, but that's how I feel. Idk when I'll see him again- but it doesn't bother me at all. I wish I cared more whether or not I saw him. Lol is that bad?

I think we need to have our first kiss and see of there is a spark before I can tell if I'm attracted to him. Sometimes it takes that physical contact, you know?

Absolutely. It is also a very efficient, fast way to rule someone out, because if you do not like the kissing, you would not be able to overcome lack of attraction TO THAT DEGREE.

[NoCake]

Originally Posted by doggiedo

...Yea. I almost wanted to text him and tell him I'm not as cute as he thinks I am! Or when he gets closer he'll realize I'm not all that! I know guys don't want to be with a woman with no confidence, and it's Unatrractive to say stuff like hat, but that's how I feel. Idk when I'll see him again- but it doesn't bother me at all. I wish I cared more whether or not I saw him. Lol is that bad?...

Being humble is NOT a turnoff. (Not to me anyway...) It's when women go way past that when it gets awkward.

Ex:

Man: You look amazing tonight.
Woman: Thank you! It's just something I had laying around. It's not much.
Man: Well it looks amazing on you.
Woman: Thank you. It's really not a big deal, I mean....

It's better to just take the compliment. Maybe you're just a little shy but hey a guy thinks you look pretty! You have permission to bask lol.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by NoCake

Being humble is NOT a turnoff. (Not to me anyway...) It's when women go way past that when it gets awkward.

Ex:

Man: You look amazing tonight.
Woman: Thank you! It's just something I had laying around. It's not much.
Man: Well it looks amazing on you.
Woman: Thank you. It's really not a big deal, I mean....

It's better to just take the compliment. Maybe you're just a little shy but hey a guy thinks you look pretty!

A very good point, but, to PROACTIVELY tell the guy that doggie is not as cute IS going way past being humble.

[NoCake]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

A very good point, but, to PROACTIVELY tell the guy that doggie is not as cute IS going way past being humble.

Yeah true.