[wongtongsoup528]

I dated a girl about 3 years ago and the two years and 3 months were great but recently about december 16 she broke up with me. We having been living together for the past 3 years as well. Now she tells me all these about how I treated her bad by criticizing her and money had played a role in it too because I loaned her money for help her pay off her credit card which I used as a weapon in arguments. I did not think about during out relationship nor cared about it because I thought she would always be there for me. Now it comes I have seen all these mistakes and am distraught to see her leave me. She is also moving out. So december 16 she broke up with me and told me that she needed her space away from me, I was upset that she wanted it but I let it happen. We would only contact each other if we needed something. I would get very angry because she broke up with me and I guess I pushed her away a little. But she texted me that one day we could be happy together. So a month goes by she tells me she not been happy for the past 6 months and wanted me to move on. This killed me inside because I love this girl so much and I realize all my mistakes that I have done as a person to her. Because I look at everything and there are way more goods then bads. It was just the last 6 months or so that she sad was very unhappy with me. She said she only stayed with me because she did not want to hurt me at all and felt like the money I loaned her kept her with me. But she told me the other night she is much more happier without me because she did not have to worry about arguing and such. (is she saying this just because?) I know I need to give her space but I am tryign so hard to get back together because I am scared she will find someone else. I'm sorry this message is a bit jumbled since I am about to go to work but I will be back later. Someone please give me advice on what to do! I love this girl so much.

Am sorry to say, but it sounds like she, although a little mixed up and mixed signals at first, sounds like she wants to move on. I think had she really wanted to save the relationship, she would've spoken up 6 months ago to talk about why she was unhappy, and not just leave. She has made no moves to try and sort things out, so I think that she's certain now. You could try talking one more time to see if worth saving? I wouldn't recommend pursuing too much, and if she says no again, I think you should take her word on it and try and move on.

Be kind to yourself, go see friends and do something you like to do, I know it hurts. Please don't take all the blame in this (and learn from your mistakes if you did indeed criticize too much). Relationships come to a natural end sometimes for one person and there's little that can be done about it. Am sorry.

Hugs

[wongtongsoup528]

So there is no hope at all? She said she didnt speak up because she didnt want to hurt me but it's killing me now.

[wongtongsoup528]

I know I can change my ways to the way I used to be but I do not know if she will accept me again.

I do not know if there is any hope, you are asking the wrong person am afraid. As I said, perhaps its best to have a proper talk with your girl, and see if it can be saved. But I do think you need to respect whatever she says, and if she tells you to move on again, then you'll have to accept it. I know it hurts very much, and I so know the feeling of love & helplessness (and desperate declarations of changing one's self), but sometimes we can not change a persons mind, no matter how much its wanted. I really do think seeing if she will talk things through is the way to go, and at least you can know that you tried, and if its not the answer you want, you can start to move on and heal.

Take good care