[delicatedoll]

I have asked for advice regarding jealousy before. But now I'm concerned that I'm "seeing and hearing" things.

I will explain:
Last weekend I went out with my boyfriend and two of my female friends. I made the mistake of initiating a threesome with one of these friends and my boyfriend about 5 months ago after a night of partying in which I was already getting jealous of how much her and my boyfriend were talking and looking at eachother.

Now whenever we are all together, I swear I catch him staring at her all the time. I could have sworn he was looking at her in the rearview mirror when he was driving and then would quickly look away if I saw it. Also it seems like whenever she's walking towards/away from us he stares at her. It seems like they have more interesting conversations, etc.

Anyways on the weekend we were up drinking together and I was pretty drunk and my boyfriend and both of my friends were saying I should go to bed. I hate saying this but I don't trust anyone. I can't help but think they were trying to get me to go to bed so they could all hook up. I do not want to think like this! So anyways my boyfriend came to bed with me because I'm sure he knew I'd get jealous if he stayed up with them. I was laying there and I swear it sounded like he was trying to inch away from me slowly so that he could get back up and go out with them. I made it seem like I was sleeping to see what he would do. He didn't end up getting up but it seemed like he was so close. And his phone went off a couple times and I thought it would be them so I "woke up" and freaked out on him and asked to see who texted him. It was some ad thing from a messenger. Or so I think.. maybe he has an app that hides his texts..

Anyway when I told him that I thought he was trying to get up he said that I'm psycho and imagining ****. But the way he said it seemed like he was lying. I seriously thought that he would sneak away and I would hear them all doing sexual things. Why do I think like this? Why do I "hear and see things" that aren't happening? Does anyone else have paranoid delusions involving their boyfriend/girlfriend and how on earth do you cope with it when you seriously hear and see things that make you think something is going on..?

[hamster-bamster]

I have never done threesomes. I thought that once you do engage in threesomes you sort of cross the line and it is hard to go back. Especially if you initiated it. I think your bf must be very confused by the mixed message you are sending him.

But the general answer for true delusions is to take an AP. That would open up the possibility of side effects including weight gain, so definitely not "free".

It is not clear though that you are having true delusions.

Maybe you should try an AP to see how you respond?

[hamster-bamster]

He might indeed be staring at her. It would be a shame if you were to start having side effects to antipsychotics that you in reality do not need. It could be that he is staring at her and that is just the reality and you are properly in touch with reality and not in need of treatment.

[delicatedoll]

That's what I'm scared of.. that my boyfriend and friends are assuring me that nothing is happening and that I'm crazy when I'm really just seeing things for what they are.

I just don't know how I'd ever find out .. ugh.

Thank you for your advice

[hamster-bamster]

Outside of this r/s, have you ever had paranoid delusions?

[delicatedoll]

Well it's only ever been in relationships where I would think my boyfriend is having "eye exchanges" that look sexual with other women, women plotting together to have a threesome with my boyfriend, stuff like that. And I get told that it's just my imagination. Not very happy with my imagination to say the least.. making me crazy. But I don't trust people so I almost feel like maybe I am seeing everything right and people just act like I'm crazy to get away with it.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by delicatedoll

Well it's only ever been in relationships where I would think my boyfriend is having "eye exchanges" that look sexual with other women, women plotting together to have a threesome with my boyfriend, stuff like that. And I get told that it's just my imagination. Not very happy with my imagination to say the least.. making me crazy. But I don't trust people so I almost feel like maybe I am seeing everything right and people just act like I'm crazy to get away with it.

this is very soft stuff - what looks sexual to one person may not look so to another person etc. have you had hard delusions - TV anchors speaking directly to you - this kind of stuff? Where reasonable people CANNOT disagree on what is happening, if you see what I mean.

[JBAS17]

I had problems similar to this before. I became paranoid thinking my girlfriend was seeing or talking to other guys. Every little thing she did bothered me and it led us to a break up. She told me that one of her guy friends kissed her and that she didn't want to kiss him; that infuriated me, but I eventually got over it. I just try not to think about things like that because the more you think about it, the more it ruins you.

We took a break for a month and I started seeing someone else while she saw another guy.

However, we both ended up dumping our "rebounds," if that's what you'd like to call it, and got back together. Since 2013 started, I stopped being paranoid, but I'm not really sure how. I believe that these could be some factors of how I got rid of my paranoia:

• Started to listen to more mellow music or music that soothed me (i.e. The Dirty Heads, Iration, Jack Johnson)
• Exercised more at the gym with my brother (exercise in general)
• Winter sport (wrestling!)
• Interacted more with nature (walking, running, longboarding outside)
• Hung out with girlfriend more just by ourselves (movies, movie nights at her house, dinner, going to public events/places like the aquarium, football games GO RAVENS!, etc.)
• Did more oral communication (less texting, more talking on the phone, skyping, etc.)

I'm not really sure if the list above would work for you and I'm not a doctor, but it's worth a try!. It also helped me with depression and stress.

Best of luck! - John

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by JBAS17

I had problems similar to this before. I became paranoid thinking my girlfriend was seeing or talking to other guys. Every little thing she did bothered me and it led us to a break up. She told me that one of her guy friends kissed her and that she didn't want to kiss him; that infuriated me, but I eventually got over it. I just try not to think about things like that because the more you think about it, the more it ruins you.

We took a break for a month and I started seeing someone else while she saw another guy.

However, we both ended up dumping our "rebounds," if that's what you'd like to call it, and got back together. Since 2013 started, I stopped being paranoid, but I'm not really sure how. I believe that these could be some factors of how I got rid of my paranoia:

• Started to listen to more mellow music or music that soothed me (i.e. The Dirty Heads, Iration, Jack Johnson)
• Exercised more at the gym with my brother (exercise in general)
• Winter sport (wrestling!)
• Interacted more with nature (walking, running, longboarding outside)
• Hung out with girlfriend more just by ourselves (movies, movie nights at her house, dinner, going to public events/places like the aquarium, football games GO RAVENS!, etc.)
• Did more oral communication (less texting, more talking on the phone, skyping, etc.)

I'm not really sure if the list above would work for you and I'm not a doctor, but it's worth a try!. It also helped me with depression and stress.

Best of luck! - John

what a great list, for whatever ails you!

[delicatedoll]

Thank you John that was a very helpful list, great suggestions!

Hamster-Bamster - I have not had any television anchors talking to me or anything of that nature. That's why this alarms me because I've even told my boyfriend that it's strange that I would have these "hallucinations" or whatever you would call them, because I don't have any kind of hallucinations in any other aspect of my life.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by delicatedoll

Hamster-Bamster - I have not had any television anchors talking to me or anything of that nature. That's why this alarms me because I've even told my boyfriend that it's strange that I would have these "hallucinations" or whatever you would call them, because I don't have any kind of hallucinations in any other aspect of my life.

You are probably OK. Not delusional/psychotic.

You cannot always tell whether other females are plotting to have a threesome with you guys until it becomes evident - until they approach you openly. Is it possible for you not to talk to the bf about it? Just live with the possibility that they MIGHT be plotting but you would never find out for SURE so you would not spend your mental energy trying to find out? Until you get approached, it is not your issue.

[katya093]

I told my bf it made me feel uncomfortable when
he looked at other girls and
of course its just normal for a lot of people to feel that way , he told me to get use to it
i said i cant settle for this .
we did not want to break up but at least we know how we feel about certain things.

You should confront him about it and see how he responds .
go from there
chika