[kala83]

I have been in and out of therapy for a very long time. But I have not had as intense of therapy as i have in the last few months. I am finally getting diagnosis that I need to question I started asking later in my adult life that probably in hind sight should have been asked a long time ago.

But one thing that always comes up in my sessions is me and my mothers relationship. We love each other dearly and care about each other a lot. But we are not always great support for each other even though we would very much like to be.

And sometimes sadly there is a BIG lacking of communication and respect which I greatly wish to work on. I have made the suggestion of going to therapy session together to work on things and she does seem open to this so hopefully working on this actually happening...on a semi regular basis is a good thing.
I have also found some books on the matter that I think will be helpful http://pinterest.com/kala1983/mental...-need-to-read/ which I have began to make a list of on my pintrest account which you can see here if anyone has read these before it would be wonderful to get your take on these books.

One of the major issues I think is going on is my mom probably has her own amount of mental health issues that she is in denial over...that cause our constant state of being good around each other to screaming and arguing amongst each other. On sometimes a daily basis

as if dealing with the possablity that I have Bipolar, and BPD..along with my ADD, OCD and Anxiety issues and Depression was not bad enough.

now I am wondering if some of these things espically the Bipolar if my suspions are correct (which not try to self diagnose here...but usually when I have strong gut feelings...it usually ends up being fairly scarily dead on). But if I am then I do know to a degree it genetic, however dealing with my mom and her actually admitting to her self she did have that. I am sad to say is near on impossible, she is simply of a mind frame and of a generation that does not accept mental disorders like mine does.She views at as a failure and not something that is normal. I wish she could deal with it such as I did so she could help her self but then I also do realize that she is her own person. And the decisions she makes are of course her own as well.

I started noting a change in my relationship with my family when I became a young adult and started having a self journey of finding myself and identifying myself.

Naturally finding that I was Bisexual and Poly and fairly liberal minded was not thrilling for my parents. My mother still finds it odd and bizare I am very ok with getting tattoos and piercings, as well as that I dye my hair unnatural colors.

and responds to when I tell her I have a girlfriend now, and several boyfriends by rolling her eyes and changing the subject as quickly as possible.
I cringe at the thought of her finding out I am involved in the BDSM life style.

But oddly she does seem to want to know more about these changes in my life. Cause when I talked about my poly life and how I felt sad in a lot of my relationships cause I was a secondary in a lot of them and I wanted to find a primary relationship she totally followed what I was saying. Even though I thought for sure with the terminology I was using I would need to define some things. ( lol which made me automatically think she did a google search on polyamory to see what in fact is) My councilor did make a suggestion of sharing info with her on a group I think called PFLAG
which we made a print out of info for her that I left on her bed with a posted saying she did not HAVE to look into this but that WE (me and councilor )thought it was a good idea for her to read through for info

My family on both sides of the family have been fairly emotionally abusive for me and probably along the lines of my parents also. But if it was at all possible I would really like to save my relationships with my parents since they do matter to me and maybe offer them a better relationship with me then their own parents were to them.
(P.S. sorry for post being too long or having poor grammar in it, <- totally terrible on grammar unless I read though the stuff a dozen times, and did not aim for this post to be this long. But it just happened)

[Leed]

Hi Kala ~ I appreciate your wanting to have a better relationship with your mother. I too had problems for a long time with my mother, but it was due to my childhood, and the fact that both parents were alcoholics. But that's another story.

Anyway -- don't you think that your relationship would be better if you didn't share every single INTIMATE detail of your life? Our parents are NOT comfortable with hearing these kinds of things, and in fact we should NOT share our intimate parts of our life. It's none of their business! Just as THEIR intimate life is none of OUR business.

Would you like to hear of your parents intimate life? I don't think so. Most children would go "ewwww." Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable thinking of your parents in bed together? Well, our parents feel uncomfortable hearing of their children in bed with whomever!!! They don't want to hear of it.

They may not even want to hear that you're bisexual -- or of your girlfriends or boyfriends.

Maybe you don't tell them alot, but from your post it sounds like you're quite open with them. I don't think you need to be THAT open with them. It's really none of their business. Your relationship will be alot better if you cool it some and leave things to generalities. You can STILL have a great relationship without all the details.

I wish you the very best! I hope things go well. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[kala83]

its not really quite like I am telling her about my sex life I am telling her I have a girlfriend which I am sorry but I don't see how that is being too honest with her.

if anyoe in our relationship over shares it would be my mom not me. And she feels its ok to ask me questions that i would normally find in aproitate, also since I live in the same house as her now its hard to not talk to her about things in my life. As I said before I a, not realy to be mean but just telling her who I am dating cause I know she wants to know I do not think is stepping over the line.