[Christina86]

Have you ever had someone in your life that teaches you a lot, and makes you happy and is wonderful to be around ... and it kills you when they leave?

I've had a few of those type of individuals. I'm working on a few more of those type of people right now.

I just got an email from a former ESP (Enriched Support Program here at my university - for highschool students who want to be in university but don't have the grades) facilitator of mine.

With his help, and there was a LOT of help from him - I managed to get two very good grades in Intro to Psychology.

He updated me on his life, (he graduated with his Masters in Psychology last year) and he's now working for the federal government and is still involved with his girlfriend and still doing HTML stuff and creating websites and he now owns his own company.

He is an inspiration, and I do wish that life could turn out that way for everyone. Get what you want, with some determination and hard-work.

It just brought back all the stuff he did for me, and how nice it was to be around him. And now it kills me a bit more again to see that he's gone again. I really did like the guy, he was wonderful.

Why is it that everyone that we care about and generally makes your life better leaves eventually? Some sooner than others, but eventually everyone leaves.

And this is why Christina doesn't like getting close to people, because they leave and I become an emotional wreck.

(Another story in a story ... My first T and a person who I had grown really attached to - she was almost like a grandmother to me - left in the same day ... talk about misery! People didn't seem to "get" that sharing little parts of myself with them, and them leaving me was like them taking a part of me and never ever giving it back. Yet another reason why I don't like to get close to people... its too hard.)

I'm not saying that for sympathy, its the truth. I just miss people. Too much.

Does anyone understand me when I say this? I honestly feel horrible now ... hearing from him again completely out of the blue, and then him leaving again. People coming in and out of my life just makes it harder to "get over" them.

Does anyone understand me when I say this?

Absolutely 100%.

((((( Christina )))))

[Christina86]

Thanks Petunia

Why is it so hard? Not fair

[Sujin]

Hi Christina,

I can REALLY relate to what you are saying. I find that I get very attached to certain people, and when they do leave it is so hard, it leaves me with such an empty feeling. I think that some people come into our lives for a certain reason. That reason may be to help us through something, to teach us something, or maybe they need us in their lives for those reasons. Not everyone leaves though. Some people are meant to stay in our lives for a certain period of time to teach us a lesson, or vice versa, while others may stick around for as long as life allows. I do understand what you are saying though, and I wish it were easier to let go sometimes.

Love,
Sujin

[Fuzzybear]

I completely understand and relate

(((((((( Christina ))))))))

I know that pain... I've been there far too many times.
Makes it so hard to trust others!!!
I can miss persons who have been gone for ages...

(((((((((((((((((( Christina ))))))))))))))))

[Christina86]

Well, at least I know I'm not completely off my rocker ... I just needed to put it out there. It still hurts. I know I can be clingy (which doesn't exactly help when people leave) but still...

Thanks Sujin, Fuzzy and Nina.

[wi_fighter]

The way I try to look at it, even though it doesn't completely take the hurt away, is similar to that saying about "some people enter our lives.......leave footprints on our hearts..."

The ones who teach us the most or help us grow the most seem to be the ones to leave us because we subconsciously drew them to us when we needed them most and when we were open to their help. When they help us with our struggles to the point that we can help ourselves through the things they taught us, we no longer "need" them. We have to let them go so they can help another person that is where we were before we met them.

Just because they were only there with us in physical form for a short while, we don't have to let go of that spirit.

[Christina86]

Thanks wi_fighter. I don't want to forget him, I just wish it didn't hurt so much.

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((( Christina )))))))))))))))))

What an AWESOME post and great discussion/sharing topic.

I can sooooooooo relate right now to your post in that I just ended long term therapy with a man that I'll never, ever forget. Furthermore, I'll always wish he were still in my life and accessible.

We grieve when they leave us. Much like any type of grief, it generally comes in waves and *reminders* can fuel that dim flame to again an inferno.

I so understand, and I'm sure I'll remember this post years from now when the dim flame is refueled due to a reminder, hard times, etc. Right now I'm still in active "grief"...

Great post; good timing for me to read.

You're not alone, and it's good to know that I'm not either.

KD

[Christina86]

**hugs** Thanks KD.

I hate reminders. It hurts to say this, but I wish I could just forget. Its been a over a YEAR for pete's sake!

[drunksunflower]

OK have it got this completely wrong

but he emailed you?

that is sweet innit?

people who really care about you don't just 'leave' ... they stay in touch with you some way, some how.

take care sweetie.

[Christina86]

I wish he hadn't emailed me, however sweet of him to do it. I don't think this is going to be a regular thing, or I'd be happier.

Thanks drunksunflower *hugs*