[GingerRose]

Hello, I am new to this forum and seeking some advice finally. For the last year and a half my partner and I have been having some problems with communication. It all started when she started to smoke marijuana on a daily basis. She can be extremely happy when on it but then very easily irritaded when off it. I have brought it up so many times to her how her mood changes depending on the smoking. She does bot see it and I do. Is this something that only happens to me or is this something that has to do with the smoking. A little background, she has always been a user and I dont see her stopping anytime soon. She also wakes up at night an is usually upset and most of the time I am to blame even though I did ny do anything and was simply asleep.

Any advice would be helpful!

[Travelinglady]

I gather she feels so good on the weed that she isn't willing to give it up, even though it makes your relationship problematic. I don't think it's you.

Maybe somebody else who has direct experience with an issue like this one will speak up before too long. Hang in here!

[hamster-bamster]

She might be self-medicating a mood disorder. In other words, it is not that marijuana causes her to be irritable when she is off it, but that she has a mood disorder which marijuana masks for the duration of its immediate effect.

The situation with her waking up at night is simple: try sleeping in the living room on the couch, and let her wake up in the bedroom on her own. That would be your experiment. If she sees that she still wakes up even when she is alone in the bedroom, that experiment's result will show her that she was wrong to blame you.

If you have sex before you go to sleep, you can have sex and then go to sleep in the living room.

If you have sex in the morning, vice versa.

If you have sex both before you go to sleep and in the morning, combine the two. Either way, it is a solvable problem provided you have a couch.

[GingerRose]

Thank you for the replies! She did it again today, she smoked last night as soon as she got home then fell asleep early. Went to bed together and she woke up in a mood again. I said good morning and said I had to get up early for work and then the bad mood got worst.

Glad you mentioned sex, there hasnt been much of it going on due to this. She falls asleep early and her moods are just very discouraging. I think maybe it is time to move on, I have offered to help but no luck.

[hamster-bamster]

Before you move on, offer to have sex before she smokes in the evening. Just to be able to say later that you have tried everything.