[November Blue]

Hi
I've been with someone for a few months now, and it's going really well and I'm happier than I used to be. But even though I trust him, I can't get over my past and I feel like I'm always reliving painful experiences. I want desperately to reach out to him or anyone else, but I'm scared and I don't know how and I don't know why I'm struggling with this, but it's been a problem for a very long time. I just want to feel comfortable with getting close to people. I'm grateful for any suggestions

[hamster-bamster]

Risk taking is part of life. As in investment, risk comes with returns. If you do not get attached, you cannot get hurt. So, no risk. But you also cannot experience deep feelings. So, no return. So you need to decide what is more important to you now - the return or the risk.

[astenon]

I'd suggest taking things slowly and ease yourself into the relationship whilst you learn to trust him fully. If he's a decent bloke, give him an idea of why you want to go slowly, and he'll understand. As you learn to trust him, you could share more of the reasons.

Maybe consider a therapist to help deal with the issues from your past that are still affecting you now.

[November Blue]

thanks, thats a very good point