[Danininja]

Okay..am I overreacting? I'm proud to say that my boyfriend is an AMAZING father....His son is awesome and we get along really well....
Back story:
I've known my boyfriend for 6 years...he was best friends with my boyfriend at the time and I was friends with his girlfriend at the time (who is his baby mama)...I used to babysit for them when their son was still an infant. But I've always known my now boyfriend was unhappy in that relationship, the pregnancy was surprise (she says she was on birth control when she got pregnant...which is def. possible but I have my doubts) but since she did get pregnant he stayed with her for another year (at this time there was absolutely no romantic involvement between him and I...I actually disliked him)...She would try to get him to marry him using things such as hyphenation the baby's last name and saying if he marries her she'll take off her last name, etc.
Once they broke up she would use their child as leverage to still control his life....although admittedly she has calmed down on that quite a lot...if not all the way. Her and I stopped talking...not from any fall out or anything like that....we just kind of lost touch....and last year my boyfriend and I started hanging out on a friend basis, and a few months ago we decided to date...
Anyway...I'm glad that my boyfriend and his baby mama have a good relationship concerning their son...but sometimes I think that they may have too good of a relationship....
When his mother comes to town, she stays with my boyfriend's ex....they have family dinners at his ex's house (which I am not invited to), they borrow each other's cars from time to time...and last week my boyfriend's brother passed away...this is where my question comes in to play...
My boyfriend went to California for the funeral...he was gone all week...he mentioned his son was coming with him and that was it...than last night he got home and off handishly mentioned his baby mama flew out there with him too and spent all week in California with him...I didn't say anything to my boyfriend because he is dealing with the loss of his brother....but I am still bothered that she went...is it even my place to be bothered by this?

Yes it is your place. You deserve to be in an open and honest relationship. He didn't tell you in advance, which is really not fair. He should've told you, and given you the option to come too. After all, as a g/f who cares, I bet you would've liked to have been by your b/f side at this sad time to support him.

Personally I would tell him how this made you feel. Don't accuse or yell at him, but just say how you felt.

hugs to you...

[Leed]

i have to agree. I would imagine he knew she was coming. And if he DIDN'T know, he owes it to you to TELL you that she came out there to "be with him." Which makes me want to know WHY she felt she had to "be there with him" during his time of grief??? SHE isn't his girlfriend, YOU are!! What is she trying to pull here? Doesn't she know her place? If she doesn't, it's high time HE told her so!!! And if he won't, then perhaps you'd better tell him he can go BACK to her.

I wouldn't stay in this triangle any longer if this is the way it's going to be. It sure sounds fishy to me. Sorry, but something's not right. Hugs, Lee

[Danininja]

Hey guys thanks for the replies....I do have to add that she did for a period of time live with my boyfriend and his family while they still lived in California....not sure if that really makes a difference though.
I had never met his brother so I didn't see it as my place to come along, but I still don't see it as her place either.
She had chased him down for a couple of years trying to start a relationship with him before he finally said yes...he admitted that he had never really wanted to start one, and that by the time she got pregnant he had already been planning on breaking up with her...their relationship was very rocky and the break up came as a sudden surprise to her...she was always very controlling with him and I feel that she does want to be with him still...he admitted to me that before he told her about US she was flirting with him a lot but once he told her about us she was pretty cool about it....and said she trusts me to be around their son...so I just feel guilty like I may be reading too much into it?

[Leed]

Are you kidding? Reading too much into it? Why was she there? She had NO business FLYING all the way to California for funeral that was NOT a family member of HERS!!

She is chasing YOUR boyfriend, no doubt about it. Do you know how expensive it is to fly right now? For her to spend that kind of money, she's up to something. And she wants it BADLY. I wouldn't trust her anymore than I trust President Obama! And believe me, I don't trust THAT man!!

I think i'd be wanting some questions answered from your boyfriend. I wouldn't accuse him cause I don't know if he KNEW she was coming. You need to ask him that first. But if he DID -- that would REALLY make me upset. Of course he still had to go -- but he should have told her to stay home, if he knew. And he needs to tell her to BACK OFF and stay away from the two of you -- especially HIM. He needs to tell her he doesn't want anything to do with her -- IF that's how he feels. If it's not how he feels, then you need to pack up and leave.

I wish you loads of luck my friend. Take care, but let us know what happens, ok? Hugs, Lee