[ArcadeFire]

Hi everyone! I'm new to this..
Anyways I've always had a problem with even thinking of being in a relationship. I've definitely had opportunities to have one with a guy, but I honestly cannot make myself do it. Every time I ever get close to being in one, I get extreme anxiety and I can't shake it. The other night I was at my friends house and we started cuddling, which we have never done. Anyways, after a while we started holding hands. I ended up falling asleep and waking up frequently and basically spent the night there. No anxiety at all, I was actually really content. It was not until after I left and I had to think about us ever even getting close to a relationship when I started getting anxiety. We talked about us being something and I kept telling myself to not freak out, but it kept building. So when I finally went to school (I'm a senior in high school) I was having such bad anxiety it was like I couldn't even face him. I ended up telling him we should just stay friends, which he was understanding, but it's still a problem. The fact that I'm 18 years old and I can't force myself to get into a relationship is just sad and I hate that I have to use the word force, because it should be something I really want to do and I'm happy about it. I really wish I could be carefree like everyone else and just commit like I want to, but I can't. If anyone has any advice that could help me I would appreciate it so much!

[astenon]

Try to relax. Tell him that your really nervous and want to take it slow. Try to spend time with him, cuddling and holding hands. Over time you will feel less anxious and can take the next steps.

If he's a decent bloke, he'll be patient. If he's not, ditch him. There are better men out there that care about you and your happiness and comfort and not just their own.

[hamster-bamster]

It is not age appropriate for you to commit. You should archive the word 'commit' out of your short term memory. That should solve the problem. Then, as advised above, relax and enjoy life and getting to know other people.

[Confusedinomicon]

I agree with hamster. Life is easier when you're not committed early on.

[Shortie87X]

I have the same exact problem, and I'm also a senior in High School. I've tried relationships (three times) and every time they tried to kiss me I would get anxiety and slowly begin to start ignoring them and then altogether stop talking to them so the anxiety would go away. I'm trying to face it right now, and I found someone who I could tell my issues to. I tell him when he causes anxiety attacks and when he doesn't, and we've been going on from there. We're going at a really slow pace, but since he's so understanding, I'm able to try out the relationship. I suggest you find someone you truly think you can tell about your anxiety who'll understand. Best of luck.