[hamster-bamster]

In December, I was contacted by a guy named Randy, on a dating site.

We have been on numerous dates, including one in my apartment. No sex. Some light kissing. Have discussed all sorts of subjects and been really friendly with one another. I am unclear as to how I feel about him, but on an intellectual level, I do realize that he is exceedingly nice.

Tomorrow, I am invited to his apartment for dinner. tomorrow is his birthday - he will turn 45.

What am I supposed to do given that it is his birthday, rather than just a dinner? is it enough to just show up on time or do I need to bring a present?

it is easier for men - they can just bring flowers for women, if unsure. flowers are always right.

Bring him a cactus. It's like a flower, just more manly and rugged...

Okay, maybe not a cactus (because it's just about as useless as flowers, and I don't understand why women like them so much [unless it's peyote]). But, if it were me, I'd get him a small gift. Maybe. I don't know. I'm not great with dating etiquette. I just make up for it in sex appeal...

Hey, sounds like a nice fella and great that things are going well!

Present.. what have you learned about him so far? What does he like to do? Does he like movies? Buy him a gift card. What about an making a paper invitation for a picnic date, or something light hearted an fun? Can you bake? Perhaps make him a lovely cake for his b'day? Take it around with some helium filled balloons - it looks fab, and shows some effort. Nothing has to be big or grand, esp as its the first b'day between you. Enjoy tomorrow night :-)

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Michael D.

I'm not great with dating etiquette. I just make up for it in sex appeal...

that does sound like a good approach...

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by riotgrrrl

Hey, sounds like a nice fella and great that things are going well!

Present.. what have you learned about him so far? What does he like to do? Does he like movies? Buy him a gift card. What about an making a paper invitation for a picnic date, or something light hearted an fun? Can you bake? Perhaps make him a lovely cake for his b'day? Take it around with some helium filled balloons - it looks fab, and shows some effort. Nothing has to be big or grand, esp as its the first b'day between you. Enjoy tomorrow night :-)

Oh thanks, I will do the balloons!

i cannot bake. I can cook, but not bake. Trader Joe's is for baking in my book.

He has very unusual interests. His hobby is to build models of ammunition. He is very serious about it. He invites other hobbyists to meet at his place regularly and build together and talk about things etc. So, very into it. He warned me that the apartment is cluttered with the hobby paraphernalia. I guess I will see the models tomorrow. But obviously this is not something I can relate to or find a relevant gift for.

He loves movies, yes. But I will go with the balloons. More festive than a gift card.

thanks again!

[hamster-bamster]

Where do I get the balloons? the floral department of the grocery store or a specialty party store?

Happy that it helped!! :-)

Edit: not sure, am not in the USA. We can get them online, florist or specialist companies. Or try a gift card store? They sell them here in card shops. I guess google is your friend!

[hamster-bamster]

Oh sorry, I see you are in London.

[hamster-bamster]

I am sorry for this level of detail, but how many balloons would you get?

Entirely up to you! Depends on cost I guess. I've bought them for my fella, and we both got them for my fella's dad's 80th. The first, I bought just 3 large ones, all fancy, and the second we got about 10!

It does remind me tho, as we traveled 200 miles to get to my fella's dad's house, we bought the balloons and a canister of helium from a party shop, and parked the car around the corner, then blew up the balloons. We couldn't have driven all that way with them in the car '-) Perhaps if you are having trouble getting the balloons at short notice, you could blow them up yourself? A small canister of helium is fairly cheap, tho it doesn't last as long as shop bought ones. Cor, that was a ramble, sorry!!

[hamster-bamster]

You know what... I have known him for 3 months and I will buy 3 balloons!

[hamster-bamster]

Also, considering that he does not have a big house but lives in a small apartment stuffed with his hobby paraphernalia, 10 balloons might not even fit.

So I will go with 3.

The first reason sounds more romantic! Have a good time tomorrow :-)

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I am sorry for this level of detail, but how many balloons would you get?

You may get him one balloon or three balloons but not two.

[hamster-bamster]

He cancelled writing that now is not a good time to visit because his apartment is messier than he realized. I am glad I planned to buy the balloons at the last minute. Otherwise I would have been home with the balloons!

I cannot believe his place is messier than mine, but whatever. Maybe he is depressed and his Lexapro is not working.

[hamster-bamster]

I reread the email more carefully and he wants to still do something in the evening just not at his place. Will call me later. Do I still get him the balloons if we go out? I think ii should, as a nice gesture.

Oh yes! Be lovely and if he is depressed, then knowing that you gave a little thought to him may raise his spirits a little. And that would be the best present ever.

[Harley47]

Hey Hamster. lol Late to the topic, but I do hope things went well?

He...builds models of ammunition? Like bullets or shells (I would think shells...bullets lack the same...grandeur, I guess?)? I'm generally convinced I am the obligatory forum gun nut, but even then...lol that's a little odd, if not sorta cool at the same time. lol Had I caught you sooner, I could've just mailed you some old .308 brass and made his day.

On a serious note, the balloons sound really sweet. I would think for your purposes you'd have them inflated in the store, but if you do buy a canister, be REALLY careful with that. If you knock off the valve at the top of the tank, the tank will shoot off like a rocket, with enough force to shoot through a wall. Sort of a guaranteed way to ruin your day. So do be mindful of that.

That aside, I hope he has a great birthday, and I hope you two have fun.

Hugs,
Harley

[LovelaceF]

Aww...balloons sound great. I hope it went well!

[hamster-bamster]

It went well, thank you.

Harley: he builds tanks. But I have not seen them yet.

[Harley47]

lol Ah, okay. That makes much more sense. I've never heard of anyone building model ammunition, but tanks? That's a little more mainstream.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Harley47

lol Ah, okay. That makes much more sense. I've never heard of anyone building model ammunition, but tanks? That's a little more mainstream.

he calls it tanks and ammunition, interchangeably. I am just relating what he says. I am personally totally clueless.

[CantExplain]

How is the relationship developing?

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

How is the relationship developing?

If I understand it correctly, he is trying to declutter the apartment to some state at which he would feel comfortable hosting me. that is my understanding. But he is also working full time, so I do not know when he will finish the decluttering project.

Thanks for asking!