[Disbelieving]

Like some of the posters I've read stuff from on here, I seem to have a lot of trouble making and keeping friends.
I've recently been hanging out with a girl who I thought I'd become good friends with.
The past week it's seemed like she's been more distant. We hung out last night (around a bunch of others) and I thought we both had fun.
The problem is that I'm really insecure and if feels like she isn't that interested in hanging out or being friends anymore. I say this because I texted her this morning and asked if we could chat today and she hasn't responded. She responded to one text but none after that. I'm worried about it because she's the only one I really felt close to in a bigger group of friends/people. I sometimes wonder if I smother the relationship by being too needy but I just wanted to talk to her to make sure we are ok and she's not annoyed with me or just plain sick of me. Really emotional and worried today. What am I apparently always doing wrong...

[Disbelieving]

that last post is sort of only the tip of the iceberg, but I read this in a different thread and it definitely sounds like part of my problem:
"People who have a "low sense of self worth" have more difficulty making friends, because they often become too demanding, needy, and require more effort and thought to spend time with. They often "unknowingly" have a series of "negetive chants" that people find "depressing" and so without realizing it they will spend less and less time with that person because they too begin to feel "down".

But when one is so needy, it can be extremely difficult to get out of that...or fix that...how do you fix needing to talk with someone or needing someone/anyone to show that they care?

[optimize990h]

Hi Disbelievin'.



I see that you had joined in 2nd week of July last year, so I just welcome you back after not seeing you for awhile.

You need to be more relaxed and not to send out any negative messages. Don't be a people pleaser and the best thing thing is to ask questions, not too many though. You have to take a balanced approach when making new friends.

You need to consider that whoever you meet, may have friends from the past and still are that person's friends. As a newcomer, you have to make sure that you don't misinterpret things. And that person may not say anything before she/he wants to belong to the group. Just ask if you could join the group if ever you find a new acquaintance seems to be drifting away to the popular she/he wants to be in.

I hope you stay around because there are resources here that will help you feel more confident. In that way, if you can take to heart the advice in Steps to Better Self Esteem forum, then you may find making friends easier. The goal would be to have the confidence that attracts others to you.

[Disbelieving]

Thanks Optimize..,
I just can't stop crying today.
My friend has never not replied to my texts before. I'm lonely and I'm just so worried that she doesn't want to be friends any longer. She's a really sweet person, too. I think I may have said or done something wrong when we were out last night. She is just the only one in that larger group of people that I've really connected with. I'd thought that maybe she just needed some space to hang out with her other friends (we have a significant age difference) but I think I've made things worse by being so insecure and asking her questions, also maybe by talking about my other issues going on (like work). I know it would likely be a mistake to try again to get in touch with her (text or call), but it will just be so devestating if she is no longer interested in being friends. I don't want to jump to the worst conclusion but also feel like I need to prepare myself.
And why does it seem like everything happens at once, because I honestly have the same worry about a different newer friend that has been much less communicative recently (now, no contact for a week). It feels like once people learn one or other particular thing about me they pull back and aren't (as) interested in being friends any longer. It's really difficult.