[luvinglife2012]

I have been dating for years now (8 years) and I have not had a long term relationship in all of this time. In the beginning I dated whoever would ask, because I wasn't sure who I wanted to date. Then I narrowed it down to what I truly enjoy in a man. Now I am into my 8th year, and I am still dating some nice men but not the one who grabs me. I am dating these men for weeks and months, thinking I am being too picky but nothing changes. They are nice men, but not interesting.

I was told by friends that I have trust issues which took me by surprise because I have been divorced for 16 years now. We have always been civil to one another with a few blow ups regarding our daughter. He has passed away now, since 2008. I don't talk about him because I have found no need too. So now I am curious as to what I do that makes people think I have trust issues.

I am posting here to be enlightened. I am aware of what lack of trust means however I would like to get some other perspectives to help me with this. I am thinking that I am not interested because I am blocking them out "because I don't trust!" Yet I cannot for the life of me figure out how I do this without knowing. I truly enjoy these men and their company, they make me laugh and we have fun but when all is said and done I find them lacking. Am I really sabotaging these relationships? Again how does one do that without being aware!?

Before someone mentions it, yes I have considered going to a T but right now this website will have to suffice. I believe the general populous here are just as helpful as a T regarding most things.

[H3rmit]

Maybe trust issues aren't the problem. Maybe finding someone worthy of trust is. Most people are not reliable enough for me. I don't see why the person with high standards has the problem.

Maybe you need to explore values . . . to understand what would excite you on a deeper level, precisely.

[luvinglife2012]

Originally Posted by H3rmit

Maybe trust issues aren't the problem. Maybe finding someone worthy of trust is. Most people are not reliable enough for me. I don't see why the person with high standards has the problem.

Maybe you need to explore values . . . to understand what would excite you on a deeper level, precisely.

Excellent suggestion. I never thought of that! I will look into values. Thank you!