[BelleCat]

I've been going through a rough time with my mental health right now, mostly because I developed a tolerance to my medication, and now I am getting messed up on new medication and I feel all wonky and weird, and doing things that I later cannot recall.
Anyways, I had a best friend, Nathan. He told me I was his best friend, and he said if I ever needed someone I could count on him. But yesterday, he told me that I shouldn't go to him for emotional support. Even though for the past several months I felt like I could count on him. He even told me that I shouldn't push him away.
Now I feel like there's a hole in my chest. I just lost my best/only friend. And it sucks. And it hurts, and I can't make this hurt and grief go away. He told me he wanted us to be friends that sometimes talked and sometimes hung out, but I couldn't possibly do that. It just hurts so much to see the strong friendship we used to have turn into an acquaintance. It's too much for me to bear right now. And although I understand that he feels overwhelmed by my issues, it still... hurts. He told me he never got any comfort or solace from me, when only a couple of months ago he said that the things I did for him meant a lot to him.
I understand most of his frustrations are rightfully so, and I'm not upset about that. I'm not even hurt by most of the things he told me. But now I'm stuck in a position where I am affected by this, and he isn't. I don't want to flat out say "I care, and he doesn't anymore." But that's what I feel I am getting from him.
So now I'm trying to make myself NOT care. Listing reasons why I am better off without Nathan, and trying not to think about it. I'm trying to just focus on getting my medications straight, and talk myself into thinking "this doesn't hurt" "I don't care anymore." "I'm better off, good riddance." But, that's obviously not gonna do much except hurt more. My alternate personality went and shouted at him a little bit, but of course, that didn't help matters.
I suppose there's no way out but through, and I just have to hope I end back out on the other side of this. Thanks for reading this. I don't really know what else to do or say about it.

Well, of course I don't know the whole story but from what I am getting, it sounds like Nathan does want to be your friend, it's just that the issues you are presenting him with are a lot for him to handle. Our issues (I'm talking about most of us here on PC) are a lot for anyone to handle.

I had (I say "had" because I lost this friend recently due to my own actions) a very good friend who told me he didn't want to be my emotional support. This didn't mean that we weren't very close and didn't hang out and talk all the time. He just wasn't the person who was going to be my support when the world was crashing down; he didn't want to be that person for anyone, not just me. Some people can't handle that, and it isn't fair--when they express that boundary--to expect them to be that person for you. Unfortunately for me, I had a bad period of time where I was off my meds and going downhill and I laid that all on my friend and he pulled away. The more he pulled away, the more I leaned on him and our friendship broke. You don't sound like you're in that place--Nathan still wants to hang out with you. I think you should allow him to have his boundaries! Accept them and be happy with this friendship...he's right: don't push what you have away.

[jadzea]

I have a friend who comes to me for support. She says she has no one else and it is true. I have done my best but she has worn me out. I don't have any more to give. I want to tell her to stop calling me but I am afraid she will hurt herself if I do.

She calls me every night and unloads the day's problems. I work very hard to live a calm, peaceful life and most of the time I am happy and like things as they are. After I talk to her I am tense and irritable. She has ruined my aura.

I know you need help but my guess is you relied on your friend too much. I tell my friend she needs a therapist because they know how to help and are paid to listen. I am not. Maybe a therapist would help you too.

[shezbut]

(((BelleCat)))

I'm sorry that your friend has left you alone. I have been there too. There is no easy or pain-free way to go through this time, unfortunately. You can correct yourself, whenever you start going out of the "normal" boundaries.

It wasn't Nathan's "job" to be there for you through thick and thin, every single day. He's like everyone else in the world. He gets tired of hearing complaints and woes, and sometimes wants things to be a little lighter or happier. He may have had a time or two where he really needed to get things off his mind, but he felt that it wasn't a good time (or match) to share these things with you.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just trying to help you see Nathan's side of things a little better. Hopefully, you'll be able to repair your friendship in some time and take these things into serious account when you do so ~ in order to make it a true friendship.

I have already lost my friends...they're LONG gone. I wish that I could contact them and become friends again, but it's too late in those cases. I've tried a few times to contact each of my old close friends, with kind gestures, apologies, but not one reciprocated.

Please do think about my experience and opinion carefully. I wish you the very best ~ gentle hugs to you!