[bri1394]

There was this guy who I was in love with two years ago. But I absolutely hated being around him because no matter how happy I was for that time I was with him, I was always my most depressed when we were apart. I mean prior to meeting him I hadn't cut in almost a year. Then if I was away from him for a week, I would start cutting and just in general be antisocial. My friends noticed and suggested that we needed to spend some time apart but I just couldn't do it. I could have sworn we were in love and would get married someday. We were only freshmen in high school! Long story short, here it is two years later and my heart still skips a beat when I see him and immediately after I feel depressed again. I just want to know if anyone else has ever gone through this and will it ever get better or do I just have to move far, far away after graduation?

[Travelinglady]

Hey, bri! If you don't get any responses here, then you might want to post in the self-injury section.

Methinks it would be best if you start looking around for someone else. I am assuming the two of you would not be together, as in you're not his type. If you can get another relationship going, then maybe he will fade from the picture.

[Leed]

Was he your "first" love? Was he the first guy you EVER really loved? If so, it might take quite awhile to get him out of your system. It seems that our first loves stick around longer than any other "love" we have just because they were our "first."

I've heard others say that their first loves always had a special place in their hearts years after they broke up with them. I sure hope that's not the case for you. LOL

You DO need therapy sweetie in order to stop the cutting! You were cutting before you met him, so you need to get to the bottom of what's making you cut in the first place. A good therapist can help you do that.

I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee