[chef89]

I grew up with a mother that beat me until I was 12-13, thankfully I entered puberty early and started to pose a physical threat. At this point, she resorted to tearing me down emotionally and socially sequestering me. My father was always too busy to notice or simply didn't care that all this was going on. At 18 i had had enough and cut my wrists. I survived but chose to make myself numb to everything around me by asking my parents to put me on a variety of psychiatric medications. I also essentially became asexual, thinking that all women were somewhat like my mother, (stereotypical I know, but whatever). I gradually weaned off to only one medication a day, and last year I moved out of my parent's house and met some really amazing people. They've helped me to realize that trusting people isn't some foolhardy endeavor. The only issue is that in allowing myself to feel again, I find myself in the position of being 23 and a virgin because every time I'm with a woman, they'll see my scars, freak out and leave. At this point I just am at my wit's end, maybe I should just realize I'm going to be alone. I honestly don't know why I'm posting this, maybe I just needed to get this off my chest.

[Leed]

Hi Chef ~ Bless your heart, you've been thru some traumatic years and I'm so very sorry. I'm glad you found us.

I'd like you to go to the Survivors of Abuse forum. The people there will TOTALLY understand what you've been thru and can help you. You will find others who have been thru similar experiences and they can give you advice and support. I'm sure you'll even make some friends.

And please don't judge all people by a few that "freaked out." I would never do that just by seeing your wrists. I don't understand why anyone would do that. I would just assume that they were "battle scars." lol But it certainly wouldn't gross me out or make me freak! That's ridiculous.

Anyway, try the Survivors forum. I know you'll like it there. And I hope we hear more from you. We do care about you. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Travelinglady]

If you really don't feel like talking about it, a guy who was in the hospital one time with me for slitting his wrists said he was going to tell people he got cut on barbed wire.

This issue might be something to talk to a counselor about. Hypocrite that I am, I might be worried about dating someone I discovered had tried to kill himself. I am bipolar and have been depressed enough to be hospitalized for "just in case." I've just never carried any plan out.

Is this lying or misleading someone? Yes, but it might be necessary until someone gets to know you better.

(Help! I am concerned I'll get a lot of flak for this response!)