[HollyC]

My boyfriend of near two years and I have very busy schedules. Tonight, we were discussing this week and next week as we are off from work starting Friday. When I asked him what the plan was for the vacation. I realized that we were going to more busy during the vacation than we are during the normal work week. In addition, his sister is coming for the entire vacation. I became completely frustrated by the fact that we are not going to spend any time alone and have very limited to together with other around. My boyfriend found it funny that I was frustrated by this which just caused me to become annoyed. Is it wrong to think that we should be able to spend some time together? These schedules that we have are horrible and I find them increasingly more frustrating. What do you think?

[Travelinglady]

I am surprised that your boyfriend doesn't seem too concerned about the two of you not having more time alone during your vacations. I'm like you. I would have been hoping and even assuming that my boyfriend would be glad to have more time together, finally.

I would be tempted to try to see why he is not concerned. Is another chance coming up soon? Is he looking at things from a long-term perspective? Does this relationship not mean as much to him? I know it will be hard, but I suggest you talk to him about it as calmly and matter-of-factly as you can.

[HollyC]

I did try talking to him last night, but got nowhere. It was just like here are all the things that you have going on and this is what I have to do. I pointed out that everyday over the vacation that there something going on.

I really don't know why this bothers me so much and not him. We have talked about moving in together and getting married. Situations like this make me more worried about the future.

[Travelinglady]

Yes, I would be concerned, too. But I guess time will tell. It would have been nice, anyway, if he would have said something like, "I'm sad that we can't spend more time together during our vacations. I wish I didn't have so much I need to do then, plus I do feel obligated this time toward my sister. I hope next time things will be better!"

Sometimes I don't think guys can see your point of view, even if they are good guys and you are communicating. I would be extremely frustrated, too.

It IS good you are discussing this ahead of time so there are no surprises. If there is anywhere you can knock something of your list or something off of his and do it beforehand or afterwards, I would make that suggestion and tell him you are feeling stressed about this and you would like to see him more...although you might have already done just that from what you say here.

I wish you luck, this is a tough situation.