[HollyC]

What do you think about this situation?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. For about a year and a half my boyfriend's father has been dating this woman that my boyfriend works with and that I know through another person. Let me start by saying that the father's relationship with this woman has caused major issues within the family. For example, she purposely leaves out my boyfriend during holidays and it always nice to him. She knows how to manipulate my boyfriend's father and is just using him. So with all of that being said, each holiday causes a new level of stress with this woman.

This year for Easter, my mother cooked breakfast for my boyfriend, his father, his sister, and his brother in law. The father's girlfriend was not invited. To be honest, no one wanted her there. She is not a friend of mine and not all that nice to my mother or myself. However, she was invited to Easter dinner over at my boyfriend's house. Off the point, my boyfriend cooked dinner as he always get stuck doing for every holiday. I try to help the best that I can as did his sister. The father's girlfriend just shouts from the living room for everyone to do things for her. Anyways, this year the girlfriend said nothing to me or my mother. She would not even sit at the dinner table with everyone. Well, later that night my boyfriend's father stated that he was mad that I didn't invite this woman to dinner as she is a "good friend" of mine. We are not friends and have never been friends.

It is so stressful to me. Everyone knows that she is lying except for my boyfriend's father who believes her and now thinks that I am horrible person. I am not really sure what to do about this. Do I say something to the father? Should I just let it go? I keep hoping that my boyfriend will explain the situation however, I don't think that it will make much of a difference. I hate the way that this woman is purposely breaking up the family. My boyfriend and I have talked about getting married and living together but, the thought of spending even more time with this woman make me sick.

What do you think?

[hamster-bamster]

How about a note to the father?

I must say that I was really hurt when you mentioned that I should have invited your girlfriend to dinner.

I did not do that because: a) b) c).

However, I always try to be nice and friendly towards her by doing x) y) z).

You also mentioned that she is a "good friend" of mine. She is not a "good friend" of mine. She is not even a friend of mine. I only consider people who do 1)2)3) and treat me well etc. my friends. She etc.etc.

I want to do my best accommodating her, but I need to set limits.

Something along these lines.

[HollyC]

Thank you for your reply. I am not sure how that would work. I know that my boyfriend's sister and my boyfriend are planning on speaking with their father. I think that if I wrote note like that he might be even more hurt because I could be saying things that are positive about the girlfriend. I think his children need to confront him first to explain their feelings about her. They are not happy about the situation. I however, do not think that he is really going to care about how any of us feel about her. The father shows no consideration to his child. We are all adults but they are still his children. I really frustrated by the situation as I am being used by the girlfriend to cause drama within the family.

[hamster-bamster]

I see your point. This is really unfortunate.

What is the age difference between the father and the gf? Is she younger/older than his own children?

[HollyC]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I see your point. This is really unfortunate.

What is the age difference between the father and the gf? Is she younger/older than his own children?

The girlfriend is younger than my boyfriend's father. Maybe like 8 years younger.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by HollyC

The girlfriend is younger than my boyfriend's father. Maybe like 8 years younger.

So she is much older than his children. I thought that perhaps she is younger than his children and in such situations the man is sometimes blinded. Not your case. He is just blinded for some other reasons.

[HollyC]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

So she is much older than his children. I thought that perhaps she is younger than his children and in such situations the man is sometimes blinded. Not your case. He is just blinded for some other reasons.

Yep. The entire situation is just so frustrating. I am pretty sure nothing will be said and then the next time there is a holiday, birthday, and some thing else it will be a repeat of always happens.