[birdcrazy]

Currently since both of us are not working, we are almost always together. But when we seperate I get very anxious hes going to cheat or spend all our money. One he did sneak and buy cigs when I was gone, but I have no reason to think he will cheat. Im trying to get a job and Im afraid this would get bad when I do.

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[hamster-bamster]

Those two issues are very different.

"very anxious he's going to 1) cheat or 2) spend all our money"

Getting anxious about (1) is useless, because you do not have control over his behavior. If you find out something about his behavior later and do not like what you find out, you will deal with this issue at that later point, when it becomes a concrete concern.

Getting anxious about (2) is not useless, because the two of you can work out some sort of a money management system. Maybe a joint account for rent and groceries and two separate accounts for individual discretionary spending.