[gon3withth3wend]

Whenever I talk, I am accused of sounding angry or confrontational. I don't always feel as angry as I sound. I may be slightly irritated, but to other people, they react as though I am furious or I am trying to start an argument when I am not. How do I stop sounding so confrontational in normal speech?

[spondiferous]

I used to have the same problem. I still do, I guess, since people still point it out to me sometimes. I guess just try to be aware of how you actually feel and try to communicate that? It takes. Some practice but it's not hopeless. Also, maybe there is some underlying tension in your life? Just a thought. Good luck.

[H3rmit]

I can think of a few things that can have that effect on people -

- very expressive, intense tone of voice, lots of dynamics and pitch changes
- expressing intense feelings
- opinions about hot topics, especially if you brought them up
- your facial expressions
- how unexpected your subject/opinion was, given the context
- gestures such as waving your arms

Would any of these be relevant? If you mirror the other person's tone and style, you won't get this as much, keeping in mind that different people have very different norms about expressing things and different cultural attitudes about directness or tolerance of difference. Of course if this is happening at work, often a bland and professional demeanour is expected.

[mitingas]

Well, your inner condition regarding anger(or nervous) is in the high level probably. That has impact in you outer behavior and you sound angry even if you do not want to. You are not relax and even if you want to soud calm you are not able to.

[iliketherain]

I would suggest speaking in "softer" tones, as well as trying to smile when you talk.

The second technique is recommended for trying to convey emotion while singing, so I would guess it would have the same effect when you're speaking.

Also, I definitely agree with the body language aspect. Try to relax your shoulders and carry yourself well - in a relaxed but not closed-off way.

In short: smile more, speak more softly (at times), and relax your body language.

Let us know how these tips work out!