[Got Java]

I been trying to get my wife on board to realize that I have changed a bit since my son has been born and we have been at each others throats in terms of how to be parents.Its difficult to be a father that has depression and anxiety since my son has been born and try to cope with these issues on a day to day basis.

I been going to a great therapist that has worked with me dealing with my issues for the last 5 months or so.I cant seem to get my wife on board to sit down and get to know what is going on.We agure over the same crap almost every week its hard to put up with being blamed for being lazy and not taking the iniative to comstantly attend to my sons needs immediatly.I cant say I not on the ball with taking care of my son , but I constantly have my moments when I dont do as asked by my wife.

I really need to get into her head and stop blaming others for the way I have been acting.I have tried to tell her I am working on getting better and trying to help out as best as I can.I dont think she understands the sisuation or the severity I am experienceing.

Its been a constant battle not to harm myself because of my increasing mood swings and sudden ups and downs with my relationship.I lost a lot of good friends over my constant issues I have been dealing with and Im at my last straw I swear with putting up with this crap.

I hope soon she will open up and kinda look at the whole picture of what I dealing with instead of using it as a kinda knife in the back or as an excuse for how I have become.I want my life to get better and I want my wife to open up and treat my mental issue as a serious as if I was hurt in a car accident or if I broken my leg.

[RomanSunburn]

Sorry things are so rough for you right now

Is there any way your wife would consider coming to a therapy appointment with you? Maybe even just have a phone conversation with your therapist or meet with them alone while you watch your son? Maybe hearing it from an outsider and a professional would help her to understand what's really going on and that you're not just being lazy.

I know it's hard to feel like people don't think mental health is as important as physical health. Very frustrating when you're already not feeling your best...

Good luck

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Got Java

it's hard to put up with being blamed for being lazy and not taking the iniative to comstantly attend to my sons needs immediately. I cant say I not on the ball with taking care of my son , but I constantly have my moments when I dont do as asked by my wife.

Many fathers who are not depressed habitually find it hard to constantly attend to their babies' needs immediately. Does she realize that?

How old is the son?

What do you mean "don't do as asked by my wife"?

Why does she direct you in your taking care of your son on a regular basis?

("regular basis" because you said "constantly")

At any rate, the way you describe it, she behaves as if she were your manager and you treat yourself as if you were an unruly employee, with his moodiness and lack of deference towards the manager. Why is that? That alone is not due to your depression - it is more like a roles and responsibilities issue and as such it is best handled in professional couples therapy rather than in your personal therapy.

To the best of my knowledge, even people who pay money to their babysitters treat said babysitters better - at least, with minimal respect.