[thunderbear]

I almost dont want to post anything else. I guess cause I feel like people might think Im justt whining for attention or something. Altho, I know that isnt the case But Ive been having a damn hard time with just about everyone in my life. Im not sure if its cause Im just a messed up person or if they are just ******holes. Probably the latter. But anyway....

My family is a hot mess. They are religious to the point of being delusional. I mean, serioysly, I think that might be a part of the reason Im so anxious about everything, ya know pre-conditioning, I guess you could say.

Theyve never liked me. Theyve actually said that so its not in my head. The only reason theyve never been ugly to me is cause my mama was the kind of mother that, if you even looked at her girls wrong, she would lay you out. Well, the same day my mother died they atarted their uglyness. They tried to keep me from learning where her funeral was (her sister & sister n laws changed the ahh, venue (?) ) I had to wait for the newspaper obit to find out. Then they would not even include me in the planning of the service. That pretty much done it. They wouldnt let my mothers pastor, who had bern her pastor for 20+ years, officiate her service. Instead they used 3 different preachers whom never even met my mother. One of which, reminds me of Fred Phelps =-O and Im not bein mean. Just tellin it like it is. Dudes a nut case. Well they havent really spoken to me. Just about me & at me. But not nice casual talking. My cousins kept in contact with me up until last year. Now they are just like their parents. And they dont speakvto me cause like theyve told me, its against their beliefs. o.O

Well I found out why this morning. Last year on facebook I got tired of my one cousin tellun me Im goin to hell for being a liberal. She was writing it on my wall for everyone to see. She was being just so nasty & a lil crazy like Carries mom in the movie. So I told her Im Gnostic. I dont believe in hell. Now she & her parents & a few of my other family members are telling the family members that I have not to speak to me cause Im Athiest (gnostic & athieism are 2 diff things. But point is theres nothing wrong with either).

Well, my crazy hellfire & brimstone cousin is just going really too far. Shes tryin to get my grandmother against me cause well, dontcha know Im an evil Liberal *eyeroll* & its scaring her to death cause her little brother & I are close. He texts or calls everyday to see if I need anything ( the only true Christian). Theyve tried to get my own sister against me. Which in that, they almost suceeded. Its pissing me off. They have no right! Ive done nothing to any of them my whole life, yet since I was a kid they have treated me like crap. Only cause I never let them bully me into being just like them. Its so ridiculous & wrong!

Just when I start feeling a little better idiots come along & give me another reason to feelbad. Not feeling bad about myself so much as feeling bad feelings like anger. Im not an angry person. I hate the feeling of anger and I try to avoid things that make me feel it. But Dang if they aint tryin their hardest. Ugh Im so over it & them.

[a bland]

what jerks! u dont deserve that. i guess all u can do is ignore them. otherwise they are just going to tear u apart with their negativity. and if u do have to talk to them be as nice as possible. its hard to talk badly about somebody when they r always nice. but even then people like that will just make things up about u to make u sound like a bad person. i think it best u move on to bigger and brighter things. hope u feel better soon.

[Leed]

Hi dear Thunderbear ~ Religious fanatics are some of the most DANGEROUS people! They can cause more damage in children and even adults than people who have no belief system at all.

Your family is obviously of that nature and they are TOXIC to you! In order for you to protect your mental health, you need to stay away from them, avoid ALL contact with them, and "unfriend" them on Facebook or else drop Facebook altogether!

If you do happen to hear something, just take it with a grain of salt -- don't believe it, and in fact try NOT to even listen to it in the first place. Whoever tries to tell you things about them, tell them you just aren't interested. It's best for your own mental health.

I'm sorry you have to put up with this kind of thing, but you aren't alone. There are alot of folks who are going thru similar stuff -- it's tough! Best of luck and take care. Remember -- you come first! God bless. Hugs, Lee

[H3rmit]

I wish I could go to a family gathering with you and we could act like freaks and laugh ourselves silly over their silliness.

But, that can't happen except in imagination. So, wow, I just have to say they sound really cruel and messed up. I don't know why such people are proud to be religious. Just crazysick, I guess.

Also, are you saying you're agnostic? Because I think gnostic means that you do know god from direct experience, but agnostic is kind of an uncertain or noncommittal thing about existence of god.

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by H3rmit

I wish I could go to a family gathering with you and we could act like freaks and laugh ourselves silly over their silliness.

But, that can't happen except in imagination. So, wow, I just have to say they sound really cruel and messed up. I don't know why such people are proud to be religious. Just crazysick, I guess.

Also, are you saying you're agnostic? Because I think gnostic means that you do know god from direct experience, but agnostic is kind of an uncertain or noncommittal thing about existence of god.

Hi H3rmit!
It would be nice! But believe me by the time you left you would either be pullin their hair out or your own!

Thats a good question. Gnosticism was around in the days before Constatine. Back when Constatine put the first books of the Bible together (Matt Mark Luke & John), to put some kind of law down for his land, the Gnostics refused to acknowladge the bible for it was considered mans desires instead of what God desired. They seen it as something that could be dangerous (which has proven true) & we believe in finding our faith on our own is more important than having it taught to us. Agnostics believe that no one can definitively say there is a God nor can anyone say there isnt. Because theres no physical proof. As my Agnostic friend put it "Its halfway to Athieism". But if it aint tapwater Baptist, its false religion according to my family. But what they fail to understand is that while they may not agree with ones religion or lack of, it is not their place to say. And you respect the person because they are your brothers & sisters regardless.

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by Leed

Hi dear Thunderbear ~ Religious fanatics are some of the most DANGEROUS people! They can cause more damage in children and even adults than people who have no belief system at all.

Your family is obviously of thatnature and they are TOXIC to you!

Lee, you are right on about that! These family members put stuff in my head as a child that still haunts me to this day. I dont want to get into that because it would trigger me & probably others, its that bad. Some real Old Testament stuff. They have actually told my schizophrenic uncle that hes not mentally ill but that hes possesed. So of course he quit all his meds. And his delusions revolve around THAT stuff. He somehow thinks Im involved in some conspiracy against him. I can only imagine where he got that idea (dripping with sarcasm). Its a mess! Ive blocked them from my facsbook page last year. I just couldnt take the constant triggers they caused. I even get triggered by Jesus pictures sometimes. Good grief. I have a lot of things to work on when I start back to psychotherapy. I told my old shrink about them calling me an athiest cause Im gnostic & his words "well it kind of is" then he started acting weird. This is a guy who has pics of the pope & the blond haired Jesus all over his office. Ahhh smh

[yellowted]

you have the right to be, do and say whatever you wish, do not let other people rule who you are. family are meant to care for and about you unconditionally, if yours can't do this then your time/energy is better spent on/around people who see and accept you the way you wish to be.

everyone has a right to believe or not in any thing they wish to, no one has the right to dictate what your beliefs should be, don't let them.

bad families are two a penny, but strong minded people who rise above them are rarer than dodo shxt!

just because these people are 'family' does not mean you have to participate in the 'family' things with them. you have the right to chose who you allow to be part of your life. if you think these people are detrimental to your health or wellbeing then you are well within your rights to sever contact with them. you can block people from ever seing or being able to post on your facebook site i know because i have done it with my family members and you have the right to block or ignore calls, letters, emails, txts from them too. it may take a while for them to get the message that you do not want to be associated with them or heir attitudes towards you, but eventually they will get bored trying to contact someone who never replies or reacts to their attempts. if you really still want them in your life then you need to make it clear that if they want you in their lives they will have to change their attitudes and behaviours towards you because you will not stand by and be abused in this way by them .
good luck in whatever you decide x

[NWgirl2013]

Hi ~ this is fascinating to me, coming from a Catholic family. I am also on the fast train to hell, according to them, because I reject a lot of those teachings.
We could start talking history here but I won't bore you with all that stuff.

Hypocrisy is not apparent to them, and that sounds just like your crowd.

I think for me, it is the difference between being spiritual & having faith vs being religious & using said religion as a weapon. The "my way or the highway" idea just doesn't really work for me.

I am pretty sure there were only messages of love & accepting from Jesus, and I'm pretty sure that's who bible thumpers are claiming to want to emulate.
Just sayin'...
Sorry you have the literal bible readers after you. It takes all kinds...

[thunderbear]

Yellowted, I havent seen them in 5 years & havent spoken to them in over a year. They just keep talking about me to any mutual friend or family member I still talk to. It seems that Im their favorite subject these days. I try not to let it get to me but it feels like my whole life was a lie. Up until my mom died, we were close knit. I have upwards of 70 of these family members but we all lived on the same two streets, every weekend we had either cookouts or fish frys. Now they act as if Im a stranger they hate. Its a real unpleasent eye opener, for sure. But looking back on things, theyve always hated me. I just didnt see until I got older. Im better off without them. I just wish they would shut their mouths about me & my kids.

[H3rmit]

> I have upwards of 70 of these family members but we all lived on the same two streets, every weekend we had either cookouts or fish frys. Now they act as if Im a stranger they hate.

I know moving is not a trivial change, but have you ever considered getting further away from them?

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by H3rmit

> I have upwards of 70 of these family members but we all lived on the same two streets, every weekend we had either cookouts or fish frys. Now they act as if Im a stranger they hate.

I know moving is not a trivial change, but have you ever considered getting further away from them?

Ive lived 30 miles from them since the whole thing with my moms funeral 10 years ago. I wont even tell them where I live. I dont want them around my kids. I dont know why they continue their gossip. They know nothing about my life now. All I know is Im tired of it. I know I shouldnt worry about what people say or think about me &, normally I dont. But it feels like another mean form of abuse from them. Whether its intentional or not.

[H3rmit]

Thirty miles away sounds tolerable. Glad to hear it.