[thunderbear]

You all know about my issues with my husbands family. If you dont Ill describe it real quick. They are mean to me. They are rude to me. Theyve never been genuinely kind.
So heres whats going on:
My husbands grandfather/adoptive dad is turning 75 Sunday. His wife is having a dinner for him and my husband wants me to go. I do not feel comfortable there. My bro n law and his creepy gf will be there. These two have convinces my in laws that I am on drugs. That my husband is on meth cuz he lost weight due to his Crohns flare. And the in laws bought the lies. I havent spoken to them in 3-4 months altho they live next door. Im not going for the dinner and my husband says Im being mean. I feel as if Im protecting myself from the panic attacks that these people bring on. I just aint up to their s***. That, and when I try to talk to them, if the bro in laws gf is around, they refuse to even look at me. Its like they dont want to be seen being nice to me. I think its cause the inlaws talk bad about me. Its not the first time. They used to talk bad about me all the time to other family members. Even my own family members. And this is exactly how they acted. Am I in the wrong for not wanting to be around them?

[hamster-bamster]

You are right, but you can consider asking the H to come up with something along the lines of your having a stomach flu.

[thunderbear]

Hamster, you read my mind! Lol its that time of the month so really, it wouldnt be lying if I said Im sick.

Ditto! (Hope you feel better )

[adam_k]

I don't think you are being mean by not wanting to go to somone's house where they will make you feel uncomfortable or berate you. I have a dysfunctional family and had to learn how to set boundaries. If someone doesn't treat me well, I'm not going to be around them and they have a problem with that it is thier problem.

[Perna]

I would not come up with an "excuse" for not going, that would just feed the fire. I would find something else I wanted to do more, would stop by with/when hubby goes over and give a card to the birthday boy and then explain I had another engagement and leave and go do something else I would rather do. If you can have a girlfriend come at about that time to pick you up, that would put icing on the you-mean-people-and-your-parties-are-not-who/where I-want-to be/with

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by t.p.

Nothing wrong about not wanting to be around people you don't like. We all should choose the company we enjoy, not just go to some place where someone mistreats you. That's emotionally damaging. Try to either talk to your husband about it, so he doesn't get angry, just explain it's not that you don't like his family, it's just that you are too different from them and don't have any common topics to discuss and feel awkward there. If you have a good relationship with your husband I'm sure he'll understand it. Telling him you got sick will work a couple of times too, but in the end you have to have an honest conversation about it anyways. If you explain everything in a diplomatic manner I believe it shouldn't bring about any problems

Hey Tp. He knows Im not going & why. He just dont understand that Im not letting them run me off, so to speak, Im just protecting myself. I guess he doesnt get MI & the effect that negative people have on it. Hes still insisting that I go, but Im not. Even if I wanted too I honestly probably wont feel like it. Im doin good to get out of bed.