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#1
Oct 04, 2013, 10:17 AM
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I'd like to explain to my H what this forum is all about bec he sees me on the computer a LOT more. He doesn't say much. I'm worried to tell him that he might think its a stupid idea, tell me I spend too much time here & ask me to stop or he might get jealous...maybe even curious. I hate that I have to hide it from him. Maybe I'm just embarrassed to admit that I come here bec I'm not getting enough support from him.
Any ideas or comments? Thanks P |
 Anonymous33230, Anonymous41644, happiedasiy, LostNAngry, Travelinglady
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#2
Oct 04, 2013, 10:20 AM
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I don't see why he would get upset, there's nothing unsavory about this site. It's purely to reach out and help each other, I don't think he could be mad at that. Although I don't know him.
As for my boyfriend, he couldn't honestly give a damn. Not in a bad way, just what I do for support or for fun is my own business and the same with him.
__________________
Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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 Diana1, happiedasiy, Patagonia
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#3
Oct 04, 2013, 10:41 AM
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At first I was a little worried as the biggest reason I started posting again was to get help with my husbands problems and I thought he would get weird about it but he was totally cool about it.
__________________
http://silverneurotic.psychcentral.net/ |
| Patagonia
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#4
Oct 04, 2013, 11:56 AM
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my husband was against any help for personal privacy reasons. I found this site and he agreed to let me try it. he respects my privacy and secrecy because honestly he does not want to know what I say on here and he knows it could start fights so he leaves it alone. He does not like the idea that I talk about him, but I basically told him I had to have something. period. There are some things on here I tell him about, but I do not talk about any of my posts or responses to them. I was worried too, but even just the other day I covered my screen with my hands although terrified he'd get mad. He didn't. He just walked away so I could finish my post. On the other hand, I have told him, and would stick to it, that if he ever really wanted to get on my profile he could. This site being kept "secret" is for fight/argument prevention, not for secrecy of feelings or thoughts. He knows how I feel and think about things in our lives and marriage.
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| Patagonia
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#5
Oct 04, 2013, 01:19 PM
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Thank you everyone for sharing how it works for you.
I think my biggest worry is that my H will say I spend too much time on here instead of doing other wifely things. & it's true sometimes I do spend too much time on here especially when I'm depressed...but it's better than being immobilized on the couch. I just get this feeling of jealousy coming up. |
| redbandit
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#6
Oct 04, 2013, 03:26 PM
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my wife doesent know I am on here, if she did she would probably throw me out of the house. so for the past several days I have been on here for very long periods of time (from the time I get up to the time I go to bed.) it is a shame that I have to hide my problems from her, she does know I have chronic severe clinical depression diagnosed many years ago, what she doesn't know is that I had to call the crisis hotline the other day (wich is what led me to this site in a round about fashion).and she doesn't know about what OTHER problems I might have. (I took every test on the test page of this site, and scored very high numbers on all of them)
so yea it sucks that we have to hide this, and in some cases we fear getting cought but at least we have each other to talk to.
__________________
why me? what did I do to deserve being treated this way? and for 54 years yet!  The guy who seemed unbreakable BROKE, the guy who always laughed STOPPED, the guy who never stopped trying finally GAVE UP, he dropped the fake smile as a tear rolled down his cheek and he whispered "i cant do this anymore" then collapsed and gave up the ghost. |
| Anonymous33230, Anonymous41644, Patagonia
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#7
Oct 04, 2013, 06:21 PM
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Yeah I don't think my H even knows I go on here. For some reason I delete it from the history and don't want him to know. He doesn't and will never understand. Its hard when your going through stuff and you relate more to strangers than your spouse. (im speaking for myself of course)
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| Patagonia
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#8
Oct 04, 2013, 06:35 PM
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Quote:
you are not just speaking for yourself, you are speaking for me too! I quoted that sentence because that is exactly how I feel too.
__________________
why me? what did I do to deserve being treated this way? and for 54 years yet! The guy who seemed unbreakable BROKE, the guy who always laughed STOPPED, the guy who never stopped trying finally GAVE UP, he dropped the fake smile as a tear rolled down his cheek and he whispered "i cant do this anymore" then collapsed and gave up the ghost. |
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#9
Oct 04, 2013, 06:53 PM
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My husband doesn't know I joined this forum....he also doesn't know the full extent of my anxiety....to him I have no reason to be the way I am...even though he knows what i went through growing up....I have tried to talk to him, but he always makes a joke out of it.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I727 using Tapatalk 2 |
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#10
Oct 04, 2013, 07:08 PM
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Quote:
that is his defense to the problem, he either dosent want to, or is afraid to understand. hang in there and stay strong!
__________________
why me? what did I do to deserve being treated this way? and for 54 years yet! The guy who seemed unbreakable BROKE, the guy who always laughed STOPPED, the guy who never stopped trying finally GAVE UP, he dropped the fake smile as a tear rolled down his cheek and he whispered "i cant do this anymore" then collapsed and gave up the ghost. |
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#11
Oct 04, 2013, 08:17 PM
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Wow there's so many things I agree w/ here! It is easier to talk to strangers. Is it bec they understand your diagnosis? There's the anonymous aspect of it, does that help sharing here? Being able to bare your inner thoughts here bec really, does anyone know it's you? It's so nice to be heard & understood where a spouse, like mine, can nod his head & say he can try to understand. We've walked in ea others shoes...it makes such a difference!
Thank you all for sharing w/ me your thoughts. I did casually tell my H I joined a forum, but he didnt really understand it & who ran it. I've been involved w/ forums for almost a yr & had to lie to him & tell him I joined yesterday. There's still secrets there. Peace, P |
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#12
Oct 04, 2013, 10:51 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
 It is nice, to have that deeper comprehension, of inner struggles, past experiences, et al. |
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#13
Oct 06, 2013, 07:25 PM
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I really enjoy the time I spend here but I notice more & more the looks I'm getting from my H. He's starting to ask, "how long were you on there today?" I can sometimes get lost on here; maybe another form of dissociating but I can lose time. I can see how this could annoy him as other things around the house are not getting done. I think it frustrates him & it leaves me feeling VERY guilty
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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