[sidony]

It's been about a thousand years since I posted on here. ;-) Really, I don't know how long. Maybe a couple of years. Ages ago when I posted on here I was posting about all my regrets from past relationships, inability to really be intimate with people or to be all the way into a relationship, etc.

A gazillion hours of therapy later, I finally had a relationship that I was all the way into. I got it right. Really loved him completely, was myself in the relationship, tried hard to communicate real feelings (I'm not perfect at that, but I gave it a real shot), etc. Even our sex life was amazing (we made love almost every time we were together). By far the best relationship I've ever had. It ended on Wednesday.

I'm grieving, but at the same time it's an amazing experience to have no regrets. If I could do it again, there's nothing I would have done differently. That was the best I could be in a relationship.

I've had heartbreak before, but this is the first time I've ever had heartbreak without self-hatred. So I've never been here before. I'm thanking therapy for that as it's so much better this way. :-)

Still (if you can't tell), I wish it had lasted....

[Leed]

Hi Sidony ~ I DO remember you and I'm glad you're back. I just wish it was under better circumstances.

I'm so sorry your relationship ended -- but you sound SO much better than you ever did before! I am SO proud of you! You have made such huge strides in therapy -- you must have put your ALL in therapy too!

But again, I'm sorry your relationship ended. Obviously it just wasn't to 'be.'

But now you know that you're perfectly able to have a normal, loving relationship and it can be wonderful. I'm sure you'll find someone who WILL end up staying forever!

Thank you dear Sidony for returning and letting us know what happened. I hope you will stay with us this time. You can certainly help OTHERS with their problems too! God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[sidony]

Thanks so much Lee! :-) The pain sucks, but I love feeling stronger.

Thanks for remembering me. Yes, I've come a long way.
Sidony

[allimsaying]

That was great to read! Thanks!

[sidony]

:-) Glad you enjoyed. Wish it'd had a fairytale ending, but alas, maybe one day. This time I'm determined not to sink into a long depression. I spent enough of my life grieving. But grief without regret feels so much easier to bear.

sid

[BonnieG2010]

Congratulations on a well spent time and work on yourself!!!

You just wrote what life is all about, i guess: living and doing our best. Once things don't go the way we like / need them to go, we are able to let go without feeling diminished and regretful just because we CANNOT LET GO.

You can and that's a powerful lesson to learn, cause in our lives we must let go of many things / relationships.
But we've had them. 100 %. And we will save in our hearts what they taught us about ourselves and what they gave us.

We'll go on with our lives and we can even say 'thanks for what we had together'.