[helpme101]

[please see rewritten version below]

[hamster-bamster]

Could you please repost, separating the text into readable paragraphs. What you posted is basically stream of consciousness. You need to give the post some structure to make it easier to digest. Sorry.

[Trippin2.0]

I've said it a million times. Too much honesty kills a relationship. You say you didn't want to get married with a secret between you, so emptied your guilty conscience onto your bf... In my view, that was incredibly selfish, all it did was hurt him, what were you hoping to achieve? That he chalk it up to 1 more mistake? No, it was a betrayal, and those hurt like hell. If it was relevent to the current situation, eg your bf needed to get tested for a STD, then, yes obviously tell him, but a kiss with his cousin from years ago???? That just seems a cruel thing to share and I assure you that a confessional with a priest would have been much better for you both.

There's honestly nothing you can say to make him believe you are now trustworthy. Trust is earned, not freely given, especially not to someone who's broken it repeatedly in the past. And while he won't give you an opportunity to show him you deserve his trust, your hands are unfortunately tied.

Maybe in time he'll once again decide he can't live without you, maybe he'll give you a chance to prove you've changed. In the mean time, I suggest you cut your losses and move on, give him time to heal from this wound. And please learn from this experience that their really is such a thing as too much honesty. Damaging information of long ago, that have no impact on the current relationship should definitly be left to decay in the closet.

Best of luck

[helpme101]

Ok so when me n my ex first got together he got locked up about 2-3 months after we met but we hit it off from the start n got serious n while he was locked up i was faithful for a while but i ended up sleeping with two guys and making out with him cousin one night he came over n was drunk saying he needed to stay n sober up n we ended up playing cards n he pulled out coke n my stupid as did it one night n we ended up making out but that's as far as it went n he refused to leave so i stayed n my room n locked the door n he slept n the living room .

Well when he got out of prison i couldn't tell him matter of fact i denied the crap of it there were rumors which i denied i was scared id lose him n know i messed up i was 18 at that time. Soon after i was pregnant with his baby n carried full term n two days before my due date my child's heart stopped beating. I had to give birth n hold my child in my arms that night i spent the night alone n the hospital n was a rough time n my life. All my family was n California n i was south Carolina .

Later on i was spotted by a modeling agency n i was thrilled they thought i had the look. They ended up needing money from everyone to get the training we needed n i didn't have it neither did my man n one day i was working n a man i waited we started light conversation and ended up talking bout me working for my modeling competition n he said what if i gave u the money n i said i couldn't take it because i know you'd want more for it n Im not like that he said all id want is for you to consider giving me a call if your relationship ends. He put 500 on the table n said he'd be back with the rest n ended up taking a few weeks 500 on each Monday till it hit 2000 n i didn't tell my man cause i thought he'd think more of it. We had tea one time n he ended up buying me clothes n a modeling photo shoot n i told him i wouldn't do anything with him unless i was single . I ended up lying to my love saying the agency bought me theclothes and shoes . Nothing ever happened with him besides me leading him on with false hopes of being together.

Later on i broke up with my man n the next day he came home from work early because a co worker spotted me n him when i gave him a hug good bye the previous day n i guess starred at us eat n the way we talked n my man n i talked it out n i told him everything about that n we ended up going to the modeling competition together it was fun. Never saw that other guy again. Later things we good n we had some bad moments n i felt unappericated id work go to the store get groceries walk home cause we had no car. N id cook n didn't feel appreciated.

My best friend from high school always talked about everything n relationship issues n we always fantasied about us but we never been together n he ended up being n sc about an hour ortwo away n came visit one day n about a week later i broke up with my man telling him the truth about when he was locked up besides his cousin part. My friend picked me up n i moved out there with him for Bout two months n i was so depressed after a week . . Wtf did i just do i ended up talking to my ex n talked about changes n getting together so i told my friend which we were n a relationship by that time that Im just in love with my ex n i want to go back he dropped me off the next day n then my ex changed his whole perception n didn't want me there was crazy. . I got in because it was n my name n i just got a key from the office n he didn't want me there so awkward . .

Our relationship was south n i didn't see it getting better he wasn't all in it. . I ended up getting a plane ticket about two months later to start over n live n California with my family . We were separated for a year trying to move on trying flings n couldn't do it all we thought about was each other. . Time apart total a year i learned lessons the hard way n was on my own since i was 14 but always lived with a guy n the last year I've been by myself working on me n I've alwAys texted him randomly n we started to talk again n start fresh n he forgave me n we were going to get married before i went to bootcamp for the army.

But i couldn't get married with a secret i told him about the kiss with his cousin n now the weddings off n he says ill never be faithful n too many secrets n that was 4 years ago n the beginning of our relationship. I've changed before i wouldn't have told him because i was scared n he always told me he wish i had gave him the choice with that n mind n i didn't want to marry with a secret that happened years ago. I truly love this man i was young n stupid n made mistakes n have learned lessons the hard way. I don't know what to do. What is wrong with me. N how can i prove that id be faithful . . . All i can do is show him but he has to give me that chance. He's my kryptonite.

(This has all happened in a 4-5 year time frame.)

Thank you for your time and advise in advance.