[Heather11]

I am having a difficult time dealing with my thoughts and anxiety about a new man I've been seeing a couple weeks. Yes I know thats still fresh but also part of my dilemma--- We have one big difference from the get go- he may still want kids and I don't. He's been honest from the first date about it. I looked at it as I'll just see how it plays out. He's obviously interested in me. I really like him and his qualities and want to continue finding out more. His actions and words tell me he sees himself continuing to date me and become exclusive but I just feel like any second the rug will get pulled from underneath me. I hate having negative thoughts but can't avoid the reality. I try positive self talk but it's a struggle.
I don't know him well enough yet to determine if he's long term material but do I risk heartache in trying to find out or just tell him we shouldn't see each other and he should figure it out on his own?... I really don't Want to do that. I know I am taking a big risk with my emotions and my anxiety is building.
Your thoughts are appreciated.

[shezbut]

(((Heather)))

I can understand your predicament. Your relatively new man of interest seems as though he's wanting children someday & you don't. So, why get into a serious relationship if you already have this important difference between you? Right??

I think that you should come straight out and ask him if he really does hope to have children someday soon. Perhaps your intuition is wrong on this aspect.

Sometimes, my bf regrets never having children himself. Then he gets small doses of parenthood when my girls stay with me (every weekend). Yesterday was a typical "rough day", with lots of businesses closed for the holiday and crummy weather outside --> seemingly continuous gripes and/or energy awfully close to major battles. My bf then enjoyed having the option of going into his own quiet apartment ~ laid out the way that he likes it, and later said that he couldn't handle being a parent! Those rough times are part of the reality of parenthood. Not all days are like that, thank goodness! But, they do occur pretty regularly. Lots of little "tiffs" and very occasionally big fights. Of course, there are also lots of sweet moments in between those toughies too.

I wish you the best!