[bluesneedhelp]

hi,

so, yeah as the title show.. I am dealing with a depressed boyfriend in a long distance relationship. Our relationship has not been easy. I have only been with him for 6 months, in which almost 5 months of it is over the long distance. We met in China, where he was an exchange student from Europe and so, now he is already back there. I am Asian, he is European. I am 21, he is 25. I came from well-off family emotionally and material, he came from a very individualistic family.

we are different in any way, but despite all that, we found comfort in each other. we can talk on skype forever (7 hrs ++ the longest so far) if the time differences and our activities permitted.

He has always been stressed out about finding job as he is graduating his master degree. However, lately he admitted that he is, in his own term, "ill." He meet up with psy often and get medication for it.

What can I do to help him? The distance is hell hard.. I wish i can be there next to him, holding him and just be there. in addition, his ex of 3.5 years comes into picture. Bcs of his family background, he regards friends as family, in which he sees his ex as a close friend. it is obvious that his ex is still have a feeling for him and it makes me really hard to accept their friendship. He always said that he will not cheat on me, and since he is with me, being with other girl is impossible. But as a human, and a female, I still find it very difficult to deal with this issues. however, it is selfish for me to say anything bcs of his depression. It is bad enough that im not there with him..

also, i dont know any of his friends (They are all in europe, and he told them about me, and vice versa). Will it be ok if I ask his friends via internet (fb, email) any way to help my boyfriend? or will it be too much?

Help me.. what should i do to deal with a depressed boyfriend in a long distance relationship with his ex being in vicinity? I dont want to give up on him.

[Leed]

Hi "Blues" ~ I applaud you for wanting to help him. But the trouble is, there is not much you can do. About all you can do is LISTEN -- let him talk, and get out whatever it is that is bothering him.

Keep advising him to go to therapy and talk to the counselor. He needs therapy -- that's the most important thing.

Other than that, you can just listen and basically agree with what the therapist told him, assuming he tells you what the therapist said. Be supportive.

That's the trouble with a long-distance relationship. You can't do much and to be perfectly honest, I haven't seen too many long-distance relationships flourish. They usually end at some point or another due to the distance.

I wish you the very best. God bless and keep us posted. Hugs, Lee

[bluesneedhelp]

Hi Lee,

Thank you so much for your answer. He did went to seek psychologist and taking medication.

and yeah.. long distance is really hard. lately he keep on saying that i deserve better than him, etc etc and kinda distancing himself.. i know i just have to be patient. leaving him now will just add more pressure to him and i still care and love him enough to stay. but it is really hard..

will it wise to contact his friend asking abt him? or it will be like breaching the barrier?

thanks for your support! God bless

Hi bluesneedhelp,
I hope your boyfriend is going to feel better soon. If he has a good psychologist and taking medication he should be on the right track. I personally wouldn't contact his friends without making sure it's ok with him first..unless of course he is doing so bad that you are left no other choice but to reach out to his friends so they can help him. You are helping him by listening to him and being there and for now it's all you can do. I hope things get better very soon