[lenjan]

There needs to be a "I'm having a panic attack" icon to attach to posts!

I hate living with my sister, partly because she tries to run my life like I am one of her kids and partly because I lived alone for the previous 20 years and am not used to having people around on a daily basis outside of work. I'm not that crazy about it, frankly. And I'm tired of living in fear of getting yelled at for taking time to read or play on the puter or do anything that might look relaxing.

My BIL just came down and said they wanted to talk to me after dinner about "money and plans." My sister tries to pretend she is OK with me here, but more than once she has managed to indicate she is sick of me. Which is fine, because I'm kind of tired of her as well. There's one major difference: Without her, I'm literally homeless. I have $5 in the bank and nowhere else to go. I started a new PT job this week, but it pays crap and isn't going to allow me to save any money to get out of here.

She thinks I need $1000 to move out. I did the math. $1000 will not get me through one MONTH. I want to go back to my hometown, but I would then have to find a job THERE, or more likely 2 or 3 of them. It is a struggle trying to get Walmart to hire you when you have a graduate degree, let me tell you. But I need to do SOMETHING to support myself while I look for something in my field.

I'm frantic that they're going to kick me out and make me sink or swim, and I'm going to drown. I can barely even breathe right now. I want to cry. I don't know what else to do. Maybe this should have gone in Anxiety instead, I dunno.

Help???



Candy

[Frozen_Heart]

(((((((Candy)))))))

Wow, that's a pickle. Hang in there!!!! I don't know what to suggest!!!!

[seeker1950]

Candybear, hunnybunny, I do feel for you and totally identify with what you're saying. I have lived alone for 8 years now and would have much trouble sharing my space with anyone. Just a suggestion, but is it possible you could find a boarding house room till you're back on your feet financially? At least you'd have your own space.
Love
Patty

Hi Candy,
I was kicked out of my mother's house while I was in my depression and it was a sink or swim situation. I didn't think I could swim and it took awhile but I did.
It was the best thing my Mother ever did for me as far as my depression went. It wasn't easy but it got me going. I think if you were put in that same position that you'd swim too.
((((((Candybear))))))

[lenjan]

I can only make $613 a month to keep my medical insurance right now (that will change at the end of October). I can't work more than part-time. Even if I only rented a room somewhere, I still couldn't live on $613 a month!

Good to know you made it, Jax, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to sink.

CB

((((Candybear))))

[PasDeDeux]

((( candybear )))) They outright told you you need to leave? When would you have to be out by?

[lenjan]

I can't even talk about it right now. Maybe it will look better in the morning. They're pretty eager to get me out of here, but you know, it got couched in "it's for your own good" and "we just want to help you get back on your feet" and all that kind of crap. Goal is the end of the year, which was the goal all along, but I'm trying hard to find a way to make it happen before then. I'm going to call my county social worker on Monday and see what can be done.

Sometimes I really hate my life!

[PasDeDeux]

(((CandyBear)))) I am sorry This sucks

[alisandria]

(((candybear))) is there housing there? Maybe you can talk to your social worker about that, see what options you have. If you are gonna be put out on the street by the end of the year, you could get bumped up to the top of the line. Also, although I know you may not want to take this route, but it can help you be placed faster-there are always temporary women's shelters, and many of us have had to do that at one time or another til we got on our feet.

How bout calling a women's resource center? They often help women get on their feet, or the nearest YWCA. Just thoughts, keep all doors open to you!

hugs, Lisa

[hillbunnyb]

the look for "roommate wanted" ads route? nobody is having an easy time of it in this war drained economy. we have to learn to team up. if not with family..... ??? many of us are in the same boat. goodest luck on your search for safe space.

Hi Candybear,
It's going to be okay. Just take it step by step. Trust that you'll know what to do and how to survive any situation when the time comes.
I've been homeless three times in my life but not for very long with any one of them in spite of not having two nickles to rub together nor a hope nor a friend.
Your survival instincts kick in. You get desperate, you get angry, you swear living well will be the best revenge and then you're trading services in exchange for room and board. Oddly enough it's how my cleaning business was concieved. (I cleaned hotel rooms in exchange for a room.)
You're going to be fine, I promise.
((((((Candybear)))))))))

[seeker1950]

HIllbunny and Jax...Those are creative suggestions I hadn't even thought of!
Patty

[JustAPixie]

I'm sooooo glad you posted that! i know exactly what you are talking about with the whole sister thing. I live with mine as well for different reasons, and although I love her i still prefer to do it at a distance!

The whole being nice and friendly, but subtle reminders of all your flaws and debts thing is driving me nuts!!! My sister also would say that she has no problem with me doing certain stuff, but she would then continue to drop hints that it's not ok.

Don't feel bad for staying, it might not be all the fun, but that is what family is supposed to do for one another. If you would do the same for her if the situation were reversed then you can live with her with an easy mind. It might not always be easy for her too, remember that, but if she loves you she will not mind the occasional inconvenience...

My sis is also always trying to give me some chore or other to keep me busy when I'm trying to relax... it's like she has this "relax radar" lol!

Don't give up, sisters are a very difficult relationship to maintain peacefully.