[mutedsapphire]

I met my fiancé about 7 years ago. We were both seniors in high school and he was the new kid. He says he fell in love with me at first sight but it took almost a year of very close friendship before I realized I shared those feelings. I knew there were some things that were different about him, but it was only obvious to people who didn't know him well. I learned to look past those things and see the person he is inside: a kind, loving, and fun man.

Early in our relationship, I learned he had some anger issues. He was never violent to people but he had an affinity to destroying his own belongings. When he was mad at someone in particular, he destroyed their things. The first time he did this in front of me, he was embarrassed. This was a part of him that he never wanted me to see. He has always expressed a lot of guilt after the incident is over and he tries his best to fix whatever he has broken. It put a huge strain on our relationship back then but, because of the love I felt for him, I refused to give up.

He had been diagnosed with several things. The doctors don't seem to what he has or how to treat it. He absolutely has Aspergers, but that doesn't explain the anger. He tells me that he was originally diagnosed as Bipolar but that doesn't really seem to fit him. He was also diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder. Most recently, he was diagnosed with just simply anxiety.

Two years ago, after spending a long time as his personal therapist, he learned how to control the anger to a certain extent. However, he often found himself feeling anxious and uncomfortable around people. He talked to his doctor and she suggested Prozac. It worked okay, but it ended up causing more problems than it caused. It took almost two years to realize it, but the pills were causing him to lose interest in sex. I felt unloved and ignored and my mind drifted to thoughts in which I wondered if he was cheating. When we finally found the cause, she switched him to Paxil. Now, this was a disaster!

The Paxil made it impossible for him to ejaculate. Erections were weaker and the frequency of sex decreased even more. We'd had a very sexual relationship before this and it put a huge strain on our relationship. The Pacil seemed to not only full his anxiety and anger but every other emotion as well. He became apathetic. He wasn't interested in doing anything but sleeping. And with a 2 year old at home left in his care, this wasn't going to work. After an argument, he flushed them down the toilet.

Everything seemed okay at first. He came out of this come-like state that he'd been in and became much more involved in life. He continued with the hobbies he'd forgotten about and he got back on a normal sleep schedule. We were also finally having sex again. But them the withdrawal symptoms hit and his anger came back worse than ever before. It's been almost a month since he stopped taking them and he has an outburst almost every other day. Things are getting broken again and I worry about how this will effect not only us, but our son.

I have a few questions:

1. What does it sound like he has?
2. Will the anger pass after his body gets used to not having the Paxil?
3. Is there any medication he can take that will not cause the sexual side effects or the lethargy?

Any advice would be wonderful. His doctor hasn't been much help and we can't afford for him to see another one.

[optimize990h]

Hi mutedsapphire.



I am not a health professional and everyone's body reacts to the medications differently. so I can suggest only what I have read from people's experience. Wellbutrin is supposed have less side effects (in terms of sexual nature)than other antidepressants, but there anxiety side effects that could happen.

I'm not sure about the side effect of Paxil weaning off process, if possible check with the pharmacist or try the link below.

Psych Central - Medication Library

I'm not sure where to go on the dx. Sometimes anger can be depression turned inwards. The antidepressant seems to have helped his anger.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by mutedsapphire

3. Is there any medication he can take that will not cause the sexual side effects or the lethargy?

Unfortunately, reactions to psych meds are unpredictable and idiosyncratic - you cannot know until he tries.

[~Christina]

Is it really safe for him to be alone with the young child?

[mutedsapphire]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Is it really safe for him to be alone with the young child?

He is no longer left alone with him until we figure this out. I send him to a babysitter when I am not home.

[healingme4me]

It can be dangerous to stop a psyche med, cold turkey, like he did. I am not certain of what is out there, without aforementioned side effects. He'd have to talk to his doctor about that.

Now, that his anger is back, is he safe for you to be around? I think there are certain meds, that might not have that side effect, but I don't believe they are anti-depressants?

As far as a diagnosis, he'd have to spend more time with his therapist, because I cannot even begin to guess, as none of us here are trained clinicians.