[WhyNot81]

I have a serious relationship problem, I think. It's either relationship based, or just my own personal problem...
My Boyfriend/ Partner and I have been on and off for the past 8 years... We took a 3 year break, but kept in touch, both had different relationships in between... But I always LOVED him. Almost two years ago I finally told him to ***** or get off the pot (in a much nicer way).... I said it's time to figure out what's going on, either love me or leave me alone. And he chose to love me... I think.
He took a job (before we were reunited) far away, so he works out west (3 provinces away) for 2 and 3 weeks at a time, and then comes home for one week. I must also mention that there is a litte age differance between us. I am 32 and he is 28.
I was and have been very supportive of his job, I am 100% faithful to him while he is away, I do not cry and nag about him being gone, even though I miss him like crazy.. I always make it a point to be positive when we talk while he's away, and let him know what's going on at home.
We do not have any children, but we have a dog and a cat... He misses them too..
But when he comes home (we now live together in just one house, it was almost too much for me to handle both homes on m own while he was gone and working full time) his main priority is always his friends and going away with them, his motorcycle, his parties, his everything! I feel as though I am lower than dirt on the list, meanwhile I live for him coming home, cleaning the house, cutting the grass, taking care of bills, working two jobs and making sure that I look good for him (not his request)...
I just feel super un appreciated, and my self esteem has taken a major hit. I want to be married someday and have a family.... But he came home last week and dropped the bomb that he is not likely ever going to come back home to work.... SO I guess this is my life??? Waiting around and not getting so much as a date night while he's home?
We are not intimate very often, and that worries me. I am completely faithful to him. 100%... But a woman has needs! Also, I am hoping I can trust him... There have been circumstances in which that trust has been broken. But he swears time and again that I can trust him... Meanwhile he is leaving me to go to this huge Nascar race and everyone knows they are just a huge party... And frankly I am not sure that I do trust him. He says all the right things, all the time... But there is never any action. He doesn't do anything with me or my friends... It's aways about him and his friends....
He will do things if I ask, like going out with my friends and such, but he makes it very well known that he does not want to go, but he will if he has to.
I'm extremely sad and confused... I love him so much it hurts, but I am hurting a lot and not sure what to do....
There are always two sides to a story, but I honestly feel like I am doing everything kind of right... I don't get mad very often and if I do I always end up apologizing and wanting to make him feel better.... I literally do everything for him.
I am left feeling ugly, unwanted, sad, confused and honestly unsure of myself. I used to be confidant and strong... And have literally turned into a version of myself that I HATE.
Any advice is appreciated.

[jadzea]

You have a right to feel neglected and sad. He is not treating you very well.

Have you told him you miss him when he is away and want to spend time with him when he is home? If you make plans will he go with you rather than make other plans with his friends?

It sounds like he is not ready for a mature relationship. He is using you and your house as a motel - somewhere to stay when he is in the area but not his home. Maybe he needs to move out and get his own place again. There is no reason you would have to take care of it. It will be his responsibility, not yours. Also, is there any reason you cannot move to where his work is? That way you can be together all the time. He will no longer have a need to "come home" every third week and he will not seeing his friends. Just an idea.