[gordo923]

Have been pretty upset the last few months that my wife hides her phone in her pocket or puts it on vibrate and turns it over so no one can see , one day I picked it up and she was mad , said it was her private possession and it wasnt right , so im asking when your in a marriage should some things not be shared or should things be open acces?

Dude, that sucks. . .But privacy is privacy, I say respect it. Also confront her, tell her your fears of this mysterious ****, ya know? Ask her if she's hiding something...Not 'what' she's hiding, 'if' she is hiding something. You can ask someone almost anything, you just have to present it a certain way. Maybe even manipulate her to give you the answer. She is a woman, female, lady, girl....she has a twisted mind, dude. She has a strategy, do you? No? Okay get one! I'm not saying it's cool to play these games, but sometimes **** has to get done!

~Nikole~

[Veronica2]

Originally Posted by gordo923

Have been pretty upset the last few months that my wife hides her phone in her pocket or puts it on vibrate and turns it over so no one can see , one day I picked it up and she was mad , said it was her private possession and it wasnt right , so im asking when your in a marriage should some things not be shared or should things be open acces?

I don't think that's a good sign she wants to hide who's calling...I also don't think you should have to snoop...but I totally understand and have seen both sides of people hiding things or being open. I once had a bf that his phone would be going off at all hrs and if I asked who he was txt or why the msg at weird hrs he shut me down and said it wasn't any of my business...by his actions it was 'then' that I got suspicious...one evening he'd fallen asleep and his phone ws literally in front of my face so I saw the txt that came in..it was from a former gf(who I found out he was still seeing)..when I confronted him he went bizerk...basically bc he got caught....My current bf said upfront that any time I wanted to look at his phone to go ahead...I haven't really felt like I need to..but once we went through our msg together..so..we are both confident w/ea other...I believe in privacy but when someone gets defensive and weird when you ask...just from my own experience..they don't want you seeing something..and hiding/secrecy often leads to mistrust and further problems...Ask her if just one time you can put your mind at ease and you won't ask to see the phone again..if she says no then I would bbe concerned she's hiding something..pretty sure she wouldn't like you hiding things right? Good luck

[adam_k]

I say our spouses need some amount of privacy. We my have married them, but they are still entitled to their own life. With that being said though, that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be concerned or question their behavior. If your spouse gets incredible defensive and refuses let you even look at her phone, it would send red flags off for me. I would talk about it if possible. Ask her why she doesn't want to let you in on who she is contacting.

Dealing with a similar situation myself, my wife would do the same thing. Get calls and not answer them when I am around. Hide what she is saying to people on skype when I walk by. My wife was caught up in having online romances, and sharing far more than she should have. Needless to say, it is hard to fix things when a spouse violates your trust. I don't look at her the same anymore, and I question whether I want this to work, not knowing if she is going to be there for me.

I would start by talking to her. She could have a good reason she doesn't want to share, or she really could value her privacy and there is nothing wrong. I don't think there is anything wrong with some privacy, as long as there is still trust. For me some signs that there was something going on, where that she would become distant with me. I would try to show her affection and she would get annoyed. Best of luck to you. This is a difficult spot to be in. I hope things work out for you.

[Leed]

I have to agree with Adam. I'm a female, and while I think people are entitled to SOME privacy, I think it's pretty crummy that she seems to be hiding something from you.

Personally I hate the ideas of these stupid phones. While they're good in an emergency, they sure create problems such as this. It's too easy for spouses/partners to play little games.

I'd ask her what she's hiding. If she won't tell you, you have your answer. If she says "nothing" then ask to see her phone. If she won't LET you, you STILL have your answer.

I'm sorry you're in this spot. I wish you the very best. God bless and let us know how things turn out, okay? God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Lisamom]

I don't read my husband's texts or emails BUT if he demonstrated a need to hide his texts I would demand to know why immediately. If she occasionally needed to text something that was not for your eyes, deleting a thread is easy. this behavior is not healthy in a relationship if you ask me. My texts to my friends are simply not interesting to my husband and vice versa. I would not want to feel him inspecting my communications but hiding messages is also wrong.

[hamster-bamster]

Do you have a family account with the mobile provider?