[Raging Quiet]

Hi, I'm wondering if anyone has gone through the codependency programme or been a survivor?

[sans]

Hello R,
I have been in co-dependent relationships many years. Done some reading, but not much support as far as i can see.
Would love to talk sometime
Sandra

[shezbut]

I haven't been through any treatment programs, but I used to have an issue with my mother.

My mom has narcissistic tendencies and I'm borderline. This made our relationship very unhealthy and tumultuous. She has to be the one in charge, the one with all of the ideas, the "savior". I'm the person that's always having big problems. Didn't know how to fix things myself, I felt dependent upon my mom (but miserable). It was a mess!

A few years ago, I finally gathered the strength to send an e-mail to my parents. {It was meant mostly for my mother though} I told them not to contact me anymore. I needed space. No pressure, no guilt. It wasn't easy ~ as my young daughters have maintained their relationships with my parents throughout. I have begun to occasionally send a quick, meaningless message or card. Like "Happy Mother's Day", no lovey or sweet messages ~ just plain & I sign my name.

I know that my mom wants more from me, but I can't give her any more. Whenever I've tried (even though I'm far into adulthood), I've quickly regretted doing more with her. She tries her passive-aggressive techniques, or sweetly asks what's happening in my world & then pushes some major changes onto me. I just can't do it!

[healingme4me]

Aside from a handful of alanon meetings, I've read Codependency No More and Love is a choice, and for a while also used some of the daily meditation readings that are out there.

Hard to say if I was officially co-dep or not. On my psyche eval, back in 07, came back depression/anxiety with people pleasing tendencies. I was part of an alcoholic marriage, went through therapy trying to cut the apron cords from my mom. Things like that.

I'm willing to talk, as well.