[ronnyboy555]

My whole life we have had a complicated/bad family life. When I was 6 my parents got divorced. (Im 16 now). At the time i do not think I was aware of what was happening and adjusted pretty well to the changes. Me and my older brother (19 now) were inseparable. He was a happy little kid and funny and great. I think because he was older, the divorce had a worse effect on him because he had a better understanding of what was happening. In our later years we drifted apart. He became much more reserved and quite. He chooses to get close to certain people, and has had the same girlfriend (i think...) for over 3 years. He seems generally sad when he is not with her or something in their relationship is going wrong. I miss him and how close we used to be. He is barely apart of my life anymore and sometimes I worry he is being outcasted in our family. My dad and mom continuously try and get him involved and talkative. Every time i try and reach out to him it feels... awkward (not right word but cant think of the right one)... everything feels forced when I try and converse with him. Over the summer we have been sharing a car and today I left for work at 8:30 in the morning, the same as everyday. My dad had to take him to work because he never told me he needed the car or had work. My dad got kinda irritated bc he thought that he should have taken the responsibility of talking to me about it and may have defended me in the process. (My dad and I have a lot of common interests and a very friendly relationship vs my brother and his which is limited at best despite my dad's efforts.) My 19 year old brother threw a "temper tantrum" as my dad called it. I wasnt present for this but on the ride to work my brother revealed to my dad that he just was generally unhappy right now. I hate to see my brother unhappy. Even though we have not been close for nearly 10 years or since our early childhood I love him so much and all i want is for him to be happy. I feel guilty being so happy and optomistic all the time when i know something is bothering him. I dont know if he is clinically depressed but i do think something involved with the divorce may have triggered an emptiness or something. Sorry for the long post... just feels good to get everything out. Thanks for reading and pls let me know if you have any suggestions.

Take him out for a beer, find a quiet spot and tell him what you've told us? Tell him you miss him, love him and worry for him. Perhaps he may open up to you?

If he is depressed tho, he would have to admit it before anything could improve but admitting being unhappy to your dad is a good thing. Perhaps with knowing that you're on his side, you're rooting for him may be enough for him to set the ball rolling in getting some help. Don't force him into anything tho, or impose your theories as to why he may be depressed as this may be wrong - it also may make him withdraw. Just let him tell you why if he wants. It may take some time too, so please don't expect anything to change overnight.

Good luck, and you sound a lovely brother. It's really nice to read the concern and caring in your post. Kudos!