[dkmma]

Hello, I've been with my girlfriend for about 2 months already. We both love each other (I know it's kind of too soon) but we just connected so well. We met online. She live about two hours from me if traveling with public transportation. Everything was great in the beginning. We hung out with each other when ever we had the time ( she has a 2 year old son, and I have a 3 year old daughter.) She said she loves me and I told her I love her too all the time. We talked about getting married and getting our own place together ( we didn't go to deep into it, we kind of just threw it out there...oh and she's still married to her son's father, but they been separated over a year already. It wasn't a big marriage just one of those so we have a kid let's get married thing. She working on getting a divorce.) OK, so about 3 weeks ago we started arguing about her not being about to see me often and my doubt about the relationship ( I've came out a horrible relationship with my daughter's mother a year ago, that I was finding it hard to trust any female after that) her behavior started changing. She's been going through issues with her mother and having to deal with her son's father. She started pushing me away. She was texting and calling me less and less. Every time I talked to her on the phone she would just have an attitude and just be in a bad mood. This is after we stopped the arguing and doubt...we resolved that problem. I tried talking to her about it and she will get more upset and say she don't want to talk about it and this happened numerous times before. One day we were talking on the phone and something was bothering her. She has a lot going on in her life. So I was talking to her asking her how her day was and just regular talk. She was just in a bad mood than all of a sudden she says she's not sure if she wants to marry me because of the arguing and doubt ( mind you we resolved that issue already) she said that we should take sometime apart so she can deal with her issues thats going on in her life. She said its not me, its her situation. She said she can't give me all of her because of the divorce and stuff. Basically she's saying, she wants to be with me but not now. I cried my eyes out and she did as well. She kept saying I'm sorry its not you, I love you its just the situation. We still talk and text each other til this day. Its just not the same. She doesn't say I love you anymore, but she's get upset when I go out drinking with my friends and gets mad that I didn't call her before I got drunk. It took me alittle to realize she was going through depression. She never told me that. I brought it up in a phone conversation I had with her. She said she's been going through depression off and on most her life. She's been suicidal at times. I tell her I'm here for her no matter what and that I love her she then told me she loves me too. I just don't know what to do at times. I text her mostly to check up on her, sent her good morning texts. Ask her how she's feeling. I asked her about seeing a therapist and she said no, but I eventually got her to think about it. At times it seems like she does want to be with me, but other times she seems like she don't. She cold ( from the beginning she said she doesn't like people...so you have to be really special to her for her to like you. Its like I want to be there for her, but she makes it hard for me. The communication is off. Its like when I talk to her I don't know what to expect, a cold person or a person who's going to have a decent conversation. I love this girl to death. She's everything to me. I just don't know what to do....
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Today, 08:52 AM

[Travelinglady]

As was mentioned somewhere else, I also agree that you should give her space. She has told you she needs it. Please take her word that she is just not ready for a relationship yet.

I am not a professional, but I suspect she has more mental issues going on than just depression. For example, it concerns me that she says she "does not like people." And that she is "cold," and you never know how she is going to react.

You have only known her two months. You really don't know that much about her. You can not solve her problems. In fact, look at how she is affecting your life. You are upset, and I am concerned that she is not healthy for you.

That's my personal opinion. I honestly think you should be looking around for a more psychologically healthy woman and not put your eggs in this basket.

If you can't get her out of your mind, then I suggest you talk to a counselor.

I know this post is not what you want to hear. Have you talked to any friends or relatives about her? They might have some opinions, if they have met her--and of course, I only know what you are telling me.

[dkmma]

When I say she doesn't like people I mean she just careful with who she gets comfortable with. She's not the one to go first when it comes to interacting with someone. When I say she's cold, she just recently started acting cold because of what she's going through. She hasn't really met any of my family members yet or friends. I met her mother a few times and her son. She might not be ready for a relationship, but I told her that whenever she's ready again, I'll be here. I want to be there for her, during this tough time. She still contacts me everyday though, talks to me through text for hours. Do you think I should ask her does she want me to see other people. I feel like she doesn't want to be with me now, but she also doesn't want me to be with anybody else.

[~Christina]

So you love her... She doesn't want a relationship right now yet, she gets upset if you are out doing anything? There are many red flags popping up.

How long out of this 2 months has been a healthy relationship?

You can not fix her. She has to work on her self and want to feel better. Maybe she is depressed , maybe there is more going on or maybe shes playing games? Who really knows for sure.

Don't you think you deserve more respect? Why would you just sit around and wait for her? Maybe just take a big step back and think about this relationship.

Good luck