I feel like when people meet me for the first time, they instantly dislike me, makes me feel very lonely.

[allimsaying]

I know how that can feel LR. Ive made progress but my opinion on this is that the way we feel about others is often the way we feel about ourselves in some way. If Im having difficulty trusting that people will like me, it tells me Im really not that comfortable with myself in that situation. Is it the situation that I dont fit into, or is it something larger and its about myself? Either way, I believe when we have reached a comfortable confidence about who we are inside, what others think of us matters less and less. Thats not saying I dont care about my conduct, it means if I am confident my conduct is appropriate for the situation, if others dont like me, thats more a reflection on who they are and the place theyre at emotionally, than it is a reflection on myself. I take time to give the other person complete consideration, maybe there really is some aspect of myself that is presenting my place as not being as healthy as it could be. I dont know you so I couldnt say what your exact situation could be. Sending good thoughts to you always.

Originally Posted by allimsaying

I know how that can feel LR. Ive made progress but my opinion on this is that the way we feel about others is often the way we feel about ourselves in some way. If Im having difficulty trusting that people will like me, it tells me Im really not that comfortable with myself in that situation. Is it the situation that I dont fit into, or is it something larger and its about myself? Either way, I believe when we have reached a comfortable confidence about who we are inside, what others think of us matters less and less. Thats not saying I dont care about my conduct, it means if I am confident my conduct is appropriate for the situation, if others dont like me, thats more a reflection on who they are and the place theyre at emotionally, than it is a reflection on myself. I take time to give the other person complete consideration, maybe there really is some aspect of myself that is presenting my place as not being as healthy as it could be. I dont know you so I couldnt say what your exact situation could be. Sending good thoughts to you always.

It makes sense since I don't like myself very much, don't like the way I look. Thank you.

[tinyrabbit]

This is indeed coming from inside you - you need to get to like yourself more and expect others to like you as well, which takes time! But being kind to yourself is a good place to start.

And next time you meet someone, don't think: do they like me? Think: do I like them? Ask them questions about themselves, and think about whether YOU find THEM interesting.

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

This is indeed coming from inside you - you need to get to like yourself more and expect others to like you as well, which takes time! But being kind to yourself is a good place to start.

And next time you meet someone, don't think: do they like me? Think: do I like them? Ask them questions about themselves, and think about whether YOU find THEM interesting.

Makes sense, will do that next time.

[allimsaying]

Originally Posted by LR15

It makes sense since I don't like myself very much, don't like the way I look. Thank you.

If thats the case then it is definately about them if they dont like how you look. What matters is who you are inside. I agree with tinyrabbit. Building yourself into a person you love and respect takes time but it is worth all the effort. Good luck LR!

Originally Posted by allimsaying

If thats the case then it is definately about them if they dont like how you look. What matters is who you are inside. I agree with tinyrabbit. Building yourself into a person you love and respect takes time but it is worth all the effort. Good luck LR!

Yep, makes sense, thank you allimsaying!