[cbr1975]

Hi, all. I'm new here and have a question. I hope this the right place.

I made friends with someone a few months ago, and as we got to know each other, he confided in me about some problems he was having with his wife. He initially thought their marriage was fine, but they hit a rough spot and everything blew up. They ended up in therapy and it seems like the only thing that is helping is for my friend to walk on eggshells.

Recently, my friend's wife discovered we were talking about their issues and she basically insisted that she be able to either screen his emails with me or that we cut off our friendship. He chose to cut things off, and I have respected his wishes. However, not long after this, I came across some articles about emotional abuse, and I thought, "Bingo!" I'm pretty sure this is what is going on in their marriage.

So now I'm at a loss. I think this may be the case, but my friend is really the only one with enough knowledge to say for sure. I want to get the info to him, but I don't want to cause trouble for him. I also don't want him to be mad at me and think I'm only doing this to be vengeful (which I'm not...it's not that I want to re-engage our friendship, it's that I want him to be aware of the situation and talk about it with the therapist so that they can hopefully get things figured out). My husband doesn't want me to contact him as he's afraid the wife may do something to hurt me or my friend. (I don't think she's ever been violent, but it's a possibility that scares my husband.)

Is it worth it to try to get this information to him or will I cause more harm than help? I'm really not sure what to do and it's eating at me.

Thanks.

[unaluna]

If they're in therapy, the therapist should be able to see what you've seen. So I wouldn't worry about it.