I believe fake friends are cowards that are too scared to tell the truth about how they really feel about you so therefore they are fake. They also want to bring you don't so they don't have to accept the fact that they have a problem.

Originally Posted by LR15

I believe fake friends are cowards that are too scared to tell the truth about how they really feel about you so therefore they are fake. They also want to bring you don't so they don't have to accept the fact that they have a problem.

I believe that they're trying to hide a part of themselves because they don't want others to reject them. Don't worry, I'm sure we've all been there. We pretend to agree with what our society tells us so we can gain acceptance. I have found myself doing that and I have found myself sacrificing a part of me to be in the in-group. Now that I have talked to someone about this, they're like,"You know what, if you have to give up a part of yourself in order to be someone else, then those people are really not your friends." Yeah, it was about friendship. I realized I wasn't making enough friends, so i was like, why not fake it til you make it instead? If you think i'm a coward, then there you have it. Friendships haven't always been easy for me, so how can I not try to find ways to ease my loneliness? However, I have never brought others "so they don't have to accept the fact that they have a problem." I never hurt anyone. In fact, I never confessed to them that that's how I truly felt about it.Still in the end, I did not avail much.

[manwithnofriends]

not again...

[MuseumGhost]

Some people who are "being fake" are probably dealing with overwhelming cognitive dissonance* in their lives (*look it up!). This is just a part of finding out who you really are...and it may extend from the pre-teen years, right on through to middle age. And beyond!

I try very hard not to hold it against people who feel the need to do this. I have, on occasion, had to fake it 'til I made it. And I hoped no one would judge me too harshly.

Some fake people are just annoying, 'tis true. But behind that mask there is undoubtedly a person in some kind of pain. So do not be too harsh.

All pain is very real.

It takes an enormous amount of courage and support to get out there and be who you really ARE, warts and all...depressed, or not...at any age.

[healingme4me]

Some people just haven't done the therapy/self help work necessary to be in touch with how they feel in the moment.

And sometimes, expressing true feelings leaves others open to vulnerability.

I know, have worked with, a woman who is the sweetest woman. Yet, there is a certain 'fakeness' about it. Not that it's fake in a sense that she's trying to be something she's not. Just fake in the sense, that, HEY! Let go of the façade for a moment. We won't not like you for it, if anything, it's more, if you let go of that façade, maybe the bosses won't ask you to do more than you need to! In her 'niceness', personally, I'd love to see her be assertive. She'd still be nice, underneath it all, but that is the type of fakeness that leads to others walking all over you.

Be vulnerable, you'd be surprised how accepted you'd be for it!!

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Some people just haven't done the therapy/self help work necessary to be in touch with how they feel in the moment.

And sometimes, expressing true feelings leaves others open to vulnerability.

I know, have worked with, a woman who is the sweetest woman. Yet, there is a certain 'fakeness' about it. Not that it's fake in a sense that she's trying to be something she's not. Just fake in the sense, that, HEY! Let go of the façade for a moment. We won't not like you for it, if anything, it's more, if you let go of that façade, maybe the bosses won't ask you to do more than you need to! In her 'niceness', personally, I'd love to see her be assertive. She'd still be nice, underneath it all, but that is the type of fakeness that leads to others walking all over you.

Be vulnerable, you'd be surprised how accepted you'd be for it!!

Who hasn't done the therapy/self-help work necessary to be in touch with the way that they feel?

No one wakes up everyday all knowing. We are in various stages of processing what is true and what is false, and in doing that, it will be done according to our own levels of discernment. With that in mind, there is more tolerance for others because we ourselves need to be tolerated by others. Less disappointment overall when we live and let live.

Originally Posted by inthismoment

No one wakes up everyday all knowing. We are in various stages of processing what is true and what is false, and in doing that, it will be done according to our own levels of discernment. With that in mind, there is more tolerance for others because we ourselves need to be tolerated by others. Less disappointment overall when we live and let live.

tolerance for whom? different ethnicities? you don't know the discrimination i faced when i was younger.

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

tolerance for whom? different ethnicities? you don't know the discrimination i faced when i was younger.

I am so sorry you have faced the ugliness of discrimination when you were younger; I assume it is no longer happening to you(?).

The topic I addressed originally had to do with the toleration of "fake" people. Perhaps you see fake people as the ones who discriminated against you? Not sure, but would be willing to explore this with you further if that is your desire.

[jan16th]

Originally Posted by LR15

I believe fake friends are cowards that are too scared to tell the truth about how they really feel about you so therefore they are fake. They also want to bring you don't so they don't have to accept the fact that they have a problem.

I would rather be alone than have to associate with that type of friend, as you are simply an option to them , and would "throw you under the bus" if a situation should present itself. Keep them at a distance, but don't completely cut off because it could be they are reacting to your reactions. The so called "normal" people don't really know how to interact with "us". Therefore, keep the channels open for enlightenment on both sides.

Originally Posted by jan16th

I would rather be alone than have to associate with that type of friend, as you are simply an option to them , and would "throw you under the bus" if a situation should present itself. Keep them at a distance, but don't completely cut off because it could be they are reacting to your reactions. The so called "normal" people don't really know how to interact with "us". Therefore, keep the channels open for enlightenment on both sides.

Yeah m just an option, a back up friend to others and I hate it. I know it because when they are alone, they want to talk to me and sometimes even get mad when I don't, but when they are with others, I don't exist whatsoever.

[ateo]

Originally Posted by LR15

I believe fake friends are cowards that are too scared to tell the truth about how they really feel about you so therefore they are fake. They also want to bring you don't so they don't have to accept the fact that they have a problem.

There are many different explanations for this, but one that I experience is not being able to tell the truth about how I feel because I care too much about hurting this person. Still, I don't particularly like this person and consider myself incompatible with them, but I can't bring myself to end the friendship. Does that make me a coward? I'm not worried about retaliation or anything, just about how it will affect this person.

Originally Posted by ateo

There are many different explanations for this, but one that I experience is not being able to tell the truth about how I feel because I care too much about hurting this person. Still, I don't particularly like this person and consider myself incompatible with them, but I can't bring myself to end the friendship. Does that make me a coward? I'm not worried about retaliation or anything, just about how it will affect this person.

Well what I mean is that I don't like it when people act nice to the point that they act fake, like the pretend to be friends when they in fact can't stand you or at least don't really want to associate with you. I'm not saying they need to be all out rude and blunt to prove that they hate you, just think they can distance themselves from people they don't particularly like and the people who they are distancing themselves from in most cases should be able to get the hint.

[Nicks_Nose]

How do you know if they hate you? Have they told you? What behaviour indicates to you that they truly don't want to know you or are "faking" it? Different people have different social styles. While one person may like to associate with many people on many different levels, another person might consider socializing as more intimate and fewer people and more all encompassing. I had certain groups of people I associated with at certain activities. There were the people I went swimming with, the friends I went dancing with, the friends I worked with, and I never crossed either group with another. I enjoyed the company of each and every person in that environment, then went home. None of them were fake.

Originally Posted by Nicks_Nose

How do you know if they hate you? Have they told you? What behaviour indicates to you that they truly don't want to know you or are "faking" it? Different people have different social styles. While one person may like to associate with many people on many different levels, another person might consider socializing as more intimate and fewer people and more all encompassing. I had certain groups of people I associated with at certain activities. There were the people I went swimming with, the friends I went dancing with, the friends I worked with, and I never crossed either group with another. I enjoyed the company of each and every person in that environment, then went home. None of them were fake.

Some people actually admit it, sometimes I'll find out from someone else, and other times something about the way they act towards me compared to others gives me a strong gut feeling that something is up if they treat everyone else in a social setting equally except me.