[LimeAid13]

So I started dating someone last September. I wanted to take things slowly because my previous relationship was abusive and traumatic. The new person I started dating seemed like a really nice guy. But I felt very constrained and very smothered by the relationship. He wanted me to be someone I couldn't be. He wanted me to hurry up and marry him, have his children, and move with him to Mexico. I just couldn't do that. Basically, we just weren't really as compatible as he wanted us to be. When i realized that there was no way I could make it work, I told him as compassionately as possible that I wanted out of the relationship. He said he was okay with that...

Within days, he started texting me almost non-stop. He has called me a number of names. He has accused me of being a coward, of lying to him, and of cheating on him. I absolutely swear that I was never deceitful of him, and I certainly never cheated. As I said, I believed that he was a good person. We just don't belong together.

He is SO angry at me... He says I ruined his life. He said I slept with several of my friends who are men. (I didn't.) I can't believe that I am seeing this side of him now. He also took some money from me. His anger and disappointment are understandable, but I don't really see why he has to be so hostile. I realize that he is being irrational on some level, but his lashing out still hurts...a lot.

I guess that ending a relationship is never easy. This makes me think that it isn't worth it to try to find someone to spend my life with. At least when my cats are mad at me the worst thing they do is leave hair balls on my keyboard...

[NWgirl2013]

Yikes! So sorry he flipped the switch and became This guy, but So Happy that you sensed it wasn't a good fit and didn't get into something more committed. You did not lie, you were honest & the real truth hurts.
I am so proud of you!
You did not ruin his life. You have done nothing wrong. He is being abusive & acting out like a petulant child, lashing out at you anyway he can. The idea is to hurt you, and it is working. He wanted to control you & you took that away. Now he wants to make you pay for his pain.
Please don't have anymore contact. Try to put this learning experience behind you ...
You may have something there with the cats ...just don't be a cat-lady. LOL

My dream relationship would not be the standard one. I'd love to have a committed partner who doesn't need to 'own' me, is not jealous, has his own place, Has A Life, is totally devoted & faithful to me. So that when we get together, it is because we both want to be there. No pressure, no drama. Just contented & happy. And Fun...
Finding that is a needle in a haystack as No one really gets not 'moving to the next step'. What's wrong with this step...?
That's what I'm sayin'...
Best to you ...