[PeachCream22]

Hello, everyone..I will apologize for the lengthy post in advance...

I can't stop feeling guilty about breaking it off with my first boyfriend, but I knew it wasn't right to carry on in the relationship (because the feeling wasn't mutual then)

But now i feel like I've hurt him a lot even though I tried not to...he's been miserable ever since the breakup a year ago...even though we tried to be friends on and off. Now we're not on speaking terms anymore, I'm not sure if it's mutual though...maybe I deserve it...

But i can't stop feeling guilty and depressed. I keep on thinking and thinking and thinking about the hurtful memories, and i keep thinking about what I should've done, I keep thinking it's my fault for every miserable thing he experiences, because of me his first relationship was a wreck even though he poured his heart into it, and I "broke" it off just like that.

So I guess what I'm asking is...was it really my fault? Should I leave it alone? Should I ignore him if he tries to talk to me? i really, really, want to die every time I see him. I can't stop feeling ashamed of myself. It feels terrible. I feel jealous whenever he talks to my friends. I feel sad whenever I see him laughing with his friends. And I'm just trying to move on because I know I don't have the right to feel any of that....

I know this might be a unique post in the sense that it's the "dumper" that's heartbroken? But I still care for him and I DO want to be friends, but it still seems like he can't let me go, and gets angry at me whenever I try to be nice. He apologizes profusely each time he gets angry though. He's tried apologising too many times...

Everytime he tries to me nice and sends me a msg I do reply nicely too...but I don't talk to him at school or hang out with our mutual friend circle during breaks and lunchtimes...and he always seems to be mad at me for that...I don't know why.

I don't really talk to him at school, because it's always awkward, and we tried already but it doesn't work because we still have feelings for each other and he's already found someone else...I don't hate him or anything. I wish him the best. But it just hurts!! and I feel like I deserve everything for all the pain I put him through after breaking it off after two weeks! It's been a year...

I just feel heartbroken and dead. i know he's a great guy, he's just become messed up ever since he met me. I'm the one who ruined his life. ...Should I move on? Was it my fault for not talking to him at school and avoiding him? Was i wrong? What should i do now? What's the best thing to do? My aim is to want him to be happy, even if it's without me....

I don't know what to do anymore...everything is my fault!! I should just be erased from the face of Earth! I'm sorry for the depressing post..

[gayleggg]

Since he has found someone else. I think it is time for you to let him go and the guilt and shame. When we get in relationships we all take the chance that it might not last and are responsible for how we react to a broken relationship. Doesn't sound like you have ruined his life. Sounds like he is ready to move. You need to also. Not every thing in this world is your fault. Let go and look in different directions for a new relationship and leave his to him.
Gayle

[PeachCream22]

Thanks for the advice...

But seriously, A lot of people I have talked to tell me to just move on, but why is it SO hard to move on? I just keep having the need to talk about it...

I can't help having guilt feelings all the time. Is there something wrong with me?

[heyhey.im.j]

It's normal. It's the rebound stage. Once you find someone else, the past one will disappear out of your mind and so will the guilt. I'm sure the other one is over you already so dot worry much anymore. But it is normal.

[PeachCream22]

I will try my best to get over this relationship once and for all...

Thanks..