[unbearablelightness]

When I first met her I soon left on a backpacking trip to Europe. I invited her to come and she visited me two months later. We had some great experiences and adventures going through Hungary, Slovakia, Poland, Austria, and Czech Republic and spent every hour together for a month. We got along wonderfully.

When we got back she wanted to break up with me saying that "she wasn't ready for a relationship". She had gotten a divorce two years before I met her and that relationship spanned her high school through college years. So when I met her she was making up for that lost time by being promiscuous and exploring her sexuality like people do in that age that she missed. She also had done a lot of partying. I guess that is what happens when you were raised religious and then you give it up.

We stayed together. I didn't want to see her go after we had shared such an experience so I made a gesture to stay together.

Fast forward a couple of months. She calls me and tells me that she cheated on me. She had gotten really drunk at a guy friends house. I broke up with her. At least she didn't try to hide it and felt bad about it. Later on I learned that she had gotten with another guy while we were broken up. Alchohol was involved once again.

After some time apart she extended the olive branch and we got back together. While we were apart she made her travel plans to work at a hostel we had stayed in. We were very much in love for the month before she left, and I agreed to move with her but I can't come until a month later. Now she is back in Europe and the hostel atmosphere is very party-like.

The distance, the lack of communication, and the situation she is in are wearing on me. Despite her assurance that she won't break my heart again (how could she be so cruel as to do that?) and that she wants a future with me, I cannot help but worry.

What should I do? What can I do? We communicate by skype and IM. Sometimes I send her messages and want to talk to her to try to find out what she is doing. I already bought my ticket to Europe.

I feel as though if I keep mentioning to her that I am worried she will cheat on me that it will make it seem as though I'm expecting her to do it and that will make her more likely to do it. It also undermines the trust I have given her. This month is going to be agonizing.

[hamster-bamster]

Well, given your userid choice, the only obvious and straightforward solution is to either read the novel by Kundera or watch the movie. Both the novel and the movie are good enough to be re-read/watched again.

Either way (reading/watching) should help.

Seriously... stop thinking about it. Let other things occupy you for that month, and then be sure to make love to her with abandon when you see her, many times. I do not see other options for your plight.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by unbearablelightness

What should I do? What can I do? We communicate by skype and IM. Sometimes I send her messages and want to talk to her to try to find out what she is doing. I already bought my ticket to Europe.

I feel as though if I keep mentioning to her that I am worried she will cheat on me that it will make it seem as though I'm expecting her to do it and that will make her more likely to do it. It also undermines the trust I have given her. This month is going to be agonizing.

Very true on deciding to stop mentioning this issue to her; very true; a wise choice.