[Sluu]

Hello everyone, I'm Sluu and I depressed...heh...I don't know how to start conversations well...

I mentioned briefly in my introduction some issues I'm having with my relationships. Recently I flunked out of my dream college, now I'm forced to go to a college close to home. I haven't told any of my friends from my original college, my boyfriend whom I met at that college, nor my roommate (who I am good friends with) that I won't be returning. I think it's mostly because of this intense shame I feel about flunking out. And about being sad and stuff...

I live too far away for me to see these people on a daily basis, and there's no point in continuing my relationship with my boyfriend if I won't be close to him. The only reason I was able to make it through (most of) the summer was the idea that we'd be together again in the fall. Nope. Not anymore.

So my question is...how do I tell these people? I've basically lied to them the entire time...and I don't want to keep lying to the people I care about. But I don't think I have it in me to tell them I'm depressed and I flunked out of college...

[PeachCream22]

What matters now is not what other people think about you. What matters now is how you're going to deal with your present situation.

The best thing to do is to let it out gently to them. Tell them that you've been having problems and they have escalated so badly it caused you to flunk out of college when you were trying your best. If your boyfriend loves you, he'll understand that and try to help you.

It's not the end of the world. Don't worry. Talk to people about your depression and having another college to study in is better than nothing right? If you want to reach the top, start from the bottom. Have a little patience and faith in yourself. You've done the right thing in posting here, and it's the first vital step to recovery. Keep going! You're doing great! I'll be rooting for you.

Hope this helps, and nice to meet you Sluu. Welcome to PC!

[gayleggg]

I agree, with PeachCream, truth is the best way to go. If they were good friends they probably noticed you were struggling while in school anyway. Hiding our depression is never easy but people tend to sense it if they are around us a lot, so your friends maynot be so surprised. And yes, going to college even if it isn't your dream college is important. You will also make new friends. I hope you are getting professional help for your depression. Good luck to you.
Gayle

[jadzea]

Well, Sluu, you really don't need to tell them why you will not be returning to college. Just tell them you will be going somewhere else. When they ask why (and they will) just tell them you can't talk about it right now. If they are true friends they will be curious but they will not push you for a reason. Once you get settled and feeling better you can tell them the details if you want. They may still be there to support you even though they don't know the whole story.

[beadlady29]

beign honest would be the best....not necessarily easiest wy to handle this.............and depression is not something that needs to be as emmbarasign as u mite think it is.............nneither is flunking uot becuz u was haveign problems becuz of it..........like peaches said u freids prolly was already aware of that u was both depress and haveign truble in school so it may not be the shocker un are expecting it to be.............so plese try not to worry so much about the conversations u need to have and just spit it uot an get it over with................if these ppls. really is ur freidsn they WILL understand an in this day an nage of puters, cell phones, etc.., there is really no reason y ye all catn still be freidns at least.........even if u are quite a distance away from other each. and we are happy far u that u have a diff. college that u can go to so that u can continue ur study......that is a good thing adnn a second chance that not evryoen gets.................
beads wishes u the best and hope that thigs work uot well for u also suggest seekgin prof. hep far ur ddepressoin because iffen it is affectiign ur life this much then it is obvouiisley a problem that needs some tending to.
thanx far posting an please do post again an let us all no how u r doing.
tc,
mary susan an all of us beadies